The End Of The F***ing World (TEOTFW Novel Adaptation)

Episode Three.

There was a photo of a man on the back of it. James showed it to me. "You think that's him?"

"Who?" I asked.

"The guy that lives here." James suggested.

I looked around. There were photos of that man everywhere. "Yeah, obviously. Bit uptight, isn't he?"

"He's a professor." James said. I stuck my chewing gum over the man's face in one of the photos.

"Whatever, it's fucking weird having a photo of yourself." I opened a cupboard in the corner to reveal an array of alcoholic spirits. My jaw dropped. "Hey. Look what I found."

James didn't say anything as I took two large gulps from the largest bottle. I sometimes wonder if I should just become an alcoholic. It means you've always got something to do.

Alyssa didn't have much respect for people. Or people's stuff.

After she had made me take a sip of Vodka, we explored the rest of the house. We made our way upstairs into the bedroom, and I stood in the doorway and watched as Alyssa closely inspected everything.

"I reckon this'll do." She said.

"Yeah." I agreed.

"We can just chill here, plan our route, take our time." She nodded.

"Yep." I agreed.

She looked like she was trying to think what an adult might do in that situation. Alyssa looked up. "Should we go downstairs and have a glass of wine?"

"Yeah, okay." I shrugged. "You hungry?"

"Always." She looked at me.

I made dinner and she poured two glasses of wine. Instead of sitting at the dining table, Alyssa decided that we would eat by the pool.

Alyssa put her fork down. "Well, that wasn't as shit as I expected."

I shifted uncomfortably.

"It was actually really nice. Thank you." She said. My chest warmed slightly and I smiled to myself. Alyssa frowned. "How'd you know how to cook?"

"Taught myself." I thought about the meals I was offered as a child: cakes, brownies, fries, burgers. It was either learning to cook, or type two diabetes.

"We should do the washing up." Alyssa suggested.

She stood up, picked up the plates, and dumped them into the swimming pool.

We went inside and I sat on the sofa as Alyssa went over to the record player. After a few minutes of angrily yanking it around, she figured out how to get it to work. An old country song started playing. Alyssa started dancing. I took a huge gulp of vodka.

She danced over and took the bottle from me, taking some sips before continuing her dance around the room.

Some people get embarrassed dancing. I don't. I think it's when I feel most myself. I get embarrassed talking. Well, after talking. When I realise I've said something stupid.

"We should do this naked!" I called. Something like that. I looked over at James, who was sitting on the couch staring at me.

As a rule, I didn't dance. But it was hard to say no to Alyssa. I half-smiled as she dragged me into the middle of the room. Standing deathly still, I watched her dance around for a bit before she handed me the bottle. I took a few larger mouthfuls this time.

"Hey, close your eyes." She instructed.

"What?" I frowned.

"Close your eyes." She said. "I promise I won't look."