You Are My Sunshine

This is how it is.

I needed something to do with my feelings and without her in my life, I have resorted to this. I need to vent; to tell my story. So here I am. Telling it to anyone who will listen. I'm not writing this to be creative or to have a hobby. As I said, this is my story. So please forgive any mistakes/ errors. Spelling isn't really my forte. And because this is my daily life, I'll be replacing chapters/ titles, with different songs. The majority of them will most likely be in reference to whatever part you're reading. I can't really have a scheduled update as this is my life. I don't plan to bore you with the days that I sit in my room and cry for her. This hell that I have to live for the next six months started middle August, so it's been around 3 weeks. I don't recall the exact day that my world crashed down and I honestly don't want to. To anyone that actually reads this, #1: Thank you. I need you more than you know. All you have to do is just listen. #2: I'm sorry if this is incredibly boring. But if you stay with me, I'd love it if you were to say hi. #3 To anyone that decides to comment, please stay. If you see that I've made it to March 8th, 2019, I'm ok now. If we still have yet to come to that day, I beg of you, don't let me stop. Please don't let me give up on myself. At this moment, I have 185 days. Once that time is up, I will be free.

 1:38 am. I am Ella. Senior in high school. I unfortunately live in South Carolina. I live with my mom, step dad (who you will learn to know as Will), my 9 year old twin brothers, and my 7 pets. Until recently, I was in the closet. I stayed for 5 years. I am the first and only member of either side of my family that is also part of the LGBT community. I have bright dyed red hair and love the color black a little more than most people. I don't have a country accent, or any accent at  all really. I have been diagnosed with ADHD, depression, severe anxiety and everything in between. I don't say this to make me seem different than everyone else, because it doesn't. I say this to let you know who I am. Maybe it makes me easier to relate to. Before all of this happened, I was honestly one of the happiest most upbeat people that you could be around. And I loved it. So I guess that's where we'll start. Before all of this mess. Just, before.