A Masked Fairytale...

Of course, good things only last for so long. After school, your ex girlfriend came up to me. Why? I don't know...she had a boyfriend. I also remember her words. 

"How much did he pay you? oh nothing? damn how cheap" she sneered and walked away. I remembered you wrapped your arms around me to stop me from going up to her and yanking her hair off.  

"Not worth it..." you whispered in my ear and all anger evaporated.

You and Cjon decided to ask Nicole and I out the same day. It was funny. I remember Nicole & I joking around about you two being somehow connected. Tuesday, February 8th, 2011...was the day you finally asked me to be your girlfriend. You waited to until after school because you had wanted to do it on Valentine's Day but you said you couldn't wait that long. I laughed as you asked me in the hallways. All I could say was, "you still have to ask?" and we kissed. I was the happiest girl. Nothing could get me upset or anything. I was in my own fairytale.

I felt bad the next day with people saying messed up things to me...until you said this to me, 

"Yailet shouldn't be worrying about anything that has to do with us. She made her choice and I made mine. My hand is in yours not in hers and this is where I'll stay." My heart soared as you squeezed my hand and kissed me.  

Remember watching The Roommate? I do. I can't watch it now.  

I hate movie theaters now...I can feel your arms around me.

A month and 10 days...a time I wish I could've stayed in. A time I wish would've frozen and I could just relive those days over and over again. The teddy bear you gave me on Valentine's Day with a heart filled with skittles. The time you asked me why I was a thief...I was confused until you smiled and told me I had stolen your heart. The times you picked me up bridal-style and kissed me with a passion that made me melt in your arms.

A month later you were telling me you still had feelings for your ex. I didn't give it thought because I was happy with you...I convinced myself not to worry because you were with ME not with her.  

Spirit week...that was the week everything went downhill.  

We argued that week...remember? My so-called best friend, Karen, told you I was cheating. You believed her. You denied it but I could see the doubt in your eyes as I told you the truth. NO I NEVER CHEATED ON YOU. I stopped before getting on the bus and told you it was up to you whether you believed me or not that I had not cheated on you...that I wasn't Yailet. I left you standing there and I cried. The 2nd time you had made me cry.  

March 18th. Everything seemed to be back to normal...so I thought. When you held me, everything faded and I felt like everything was okay. It happened every single time you embraced me. I told Nicole that...the way I felt when you held me. She told me to stay in your arms. I remember telling her how afraid I was...I was afraid that you wanted to let go.

And you did...2 hours later.  

You called me and told me some bullshit excuse. You had to break up with me to focus in school? We had only 3 months left. You were in your last year. 8th grader end everything in the beginning of March and you wanted to convince me that school was the reason. You weren't even sure when I asked if we had just broken up. I was in shock. I didn't want to believe it. You said "I guess". I cried like I have never cried in my life. I dropped my phone. I shook and crashed on the floor in tears. I felt myself being torn apart. I felt my heart just break. I felt every part of me had just been beat.  

"I never meant to get with you...I never meant to get with anyone..." those were your words an hour later.  

I didn't eat. I didn't talk. I didn't move. I didn't do anything all weekend. I went into depression. I was a walking corpse. My eyes were dead...My body felt numb. I couldn't smile. I cringed whenever I read or heard your name. I cried if I saw a couple. I was dead...I still am. You tore me to shreds a week before my birthday. That week, I was an outcast at school. I stayed away from everyone. I spent the days crying. I walked in the hallways and felt lost. I cried if I saw you...which was everywhere. I slashed my arms. Sweats and long sleeve shirts were all I wore. My hair up and no makeup. What was the point if I wasn't that girl anymore. I was broken. Why try to fix myself up if all my makeup would smear? Being near you made every part of me ache. I wanted you to hold me again. I wanted to be the girl you would walk up to and kiss. I wanted to be yours and for you to be mine again. I never thought a pain so great could exist until the day I lost you. I cried at my birthday bonfire. I screamed into the waves. I wanted to drown in them. I wanted to stop living the pain that was just killing me. I managed to smile again a month later...or at least fake one. I've spent 8...almost 9 months crying myself to sleep to keep myself managing through the day. Faking smiles and faking laughs but I still go quiet when anyone mentions your name. I miss you...so much. When I walk down the hallways...I still think of you.

"I'll say those 3 words when the time is right..."-Randall Gomez 

I guess the time was always wrong...</3