Chapter 40
Jillian’s POV
Hindi ko alam kung bakit ganito ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. It feels like I’m slowly being torn apart. Which was really weird because it shouldn’t be like this. I thought these kinds of scenes are applicable on TV dramas only but I was wrong all along. Pwede pa lang mangyari sa totoong buhay. Bakit naman sa akin pa nag-materialize? Fate chose me to be its guinea pig for this experiment. I’m so touched.
“You okay?” asked Mitch, her eyes showing massive pity. I feel humiliated.
“Of course, I am. Why wouldn’t I? Why did you ask?” I asked, defending my corner.
She smiled while rolling her eyes. “Yeah, right,” she said. I’m a horrible liar.
I averted my gaze at them. Wow, ang tagal naman nilang magkayakap. Wala na ba silang plano na maghiwalay? Are they stuck on each other right now, huh? Tss. They aren’t glued, so what’s with all the long hug?
Napapikit ako at tumalikod. I can’t afford to watch them. It’s too painful. My eyes started to act like a waterfall. Good gracious, bakit ka naman umiiyak, Jillian? Anong pag-iinarte ‘yan? Hindi mo naman dapat iniiyakan ang mga ganitong bagay. In the first place, you know where you stand. Dapat kasi naglagay ka ng linya. You could have stopped your delusions beforehand. See, now, it’s too late.
Humiwalay ng yakap kay Cyrus ang babaeng iyon. “I miss you,” aniya habang hinihimas ang mukha ni Cyrus.
Bring me back my sanity, please, because I’m slowly losing it. Nakakabaliw na marinig iyon mula sa kaniya. Ang sakit na mayroong ibang nakaka-miss sa kaniya. Na sa pagkakataong ito, pakiramdam ko pagmamay-ari siya ng iba.
Akala ko masakit na ‘yung marinig mula sa isang tao ang nararamdaman niya para sa lalaking unti-unti mo ng nagugustuhan, pero mas may sasakit pa pala doon. Mas nabigatan ang dibdib ko nang sumagot si Cyrus ng, “I miss you, too.”
It was genuine, pure and filled with longing . . . and it’s killing me.
Pakiramdam ko ay gumuguho ang mundong tinatanaw ko. Nawala lahat ng pag-asang pinanghahawakan ko. It felt like life bombard me without having to say, Caution: Falling debris.
I don’t know anymore. I can’t even explain why these hot tears are starting to fall from my eyes. Walang humpay ang mga ito sa pagpatak. Ghad! Bakit?
Tahimik ang paligid. The silence was broken when the guys decided to interrupt their mushiness. “J-jazz?” ani ni Japh habang medyo nauutal.
Jazz? I’ve heard that name before. I just can’t remember where and when. This memory gap thing sucks. Kung kailan badly needed, tsaka hindi maasahan.
She held Cyrus and she ran towards our direction, her hand is still intertwined with his. I stared at it but looked away immediately. Mahirap na, baka makita pa nila akong pinagmamasdan sila. Nakakahiya.
