Nikki_Garcia: I understand. You're not just someone. 

That I think is the most selfish thing anyone could ever do to someone. Now I feel like I'm cheating someone. I shouldn't have replied. I shouldn't have said that I understand him. I should have just left him hanging because if we talked more, it would be harder to stop. But I went against my senses. He's a good guy and I haven't really talked to a celebrity before; I was curious and overwhelmed that a celebrity likes me; Well, not exactly me unfortunately.

bigbrownbootsUK: Thank you for understanding, means a lot.

Nikki_Garcia: No worries. Why are you here though? I mean why are you on 'shake'? Aren't you busy with all the touring and stuff?

bigbrownbootsUK: Emm, I got bored, that's it. Hey, I just told you I like you... I wanna know how you feel about it?

Nikki_Garcia: Oh. okaaay, Hmm... I think I like Edward Riley more. Haha!

bigbrownbootsUK: Whyyyyyyy

Nikki_Garcia: Cause now I'm intimidated to talk to you

bigbrownbootsUK: Don't be. I just changed my name but that was me, hundred percent.

I wish I could say the same like, 'I just changed my display picture and shared some pictures I do not own on my account but that's 100% me you were talking to'

But I just can't do it.

Nikki_Garcia: Thank you for being honest with me, now.

bigbrownbootsUK: I felt guilty that I was lying to you. The first time I saw you I admit I got attracted to you; who wouldn't? but when we talked more, I knew that you are more than your pretty face, And that's rare.

Ahhh, I think I'm gonna die! It's not me Styles! I'm sorry... I don't know what would you think of me when you find out I'm not who you think I am... I'm so stupid! How could I let you go now when you got such perfect answers?

Nikki_Garcia: Really? thanks, I'm flattered.

bigbrownbootsUK: You are absolutely welcome.

Nikki_Garcia: You know, you shouldn't trust people that much especially around here... I could leak your photos anytime you know? hahaha. But don't worry, I won't.

bigbrownbootsUK: I know you won't. 

Nikki_Garcia: How do you know?

bigbrownbootsUK: Just... I was testing the waters the past few weeks we were talking and you seem really decent. I have never talked to anyone sensible for a long time and I like how you talk about life and your plans for the future

Nikki_Garcia: That's too sweet. Now I know how you got all the ladies lining up for you. Kidding! :)

bigbrownbootsUK: emm we about to go live, talk to you later? 

Nikki_Garcia: Alright :) Do well!

I. HATE. MYSELF. Why can't I just say the truth? I'm so selfish! Was it because I liked the fact that I was chatting with a celebrity or I was chatting with this sweet, childish, playful sometimes fragile human being? Ugh.

Then I thought maybe one of these days he would just stop and get tired of talking to me because I know that beneath all those sweet words, I was just his past time. Maybe he's so bored while they're on tour. And so I just do the same, just play along and see how far it will go and if he had enough one day, that will be the end of it and it will all be just a beautiful memory; atleast I got the chance to talk to him.

I tried to get him off my head for a while, I did my errands, did my house chores and talked to a friend on the phone we catched up with almost about everything in our lives but I still wasn't ready to talk about Styles with my friend Lisa yet;Why? Cause it's a long complicated story, she'll ask how it happenned and I wasn't ready to tell her that uhh... I was kind of a poser? Eurgh.

Because of our time differences, it was about 2am when harry messaged me...

bigbrownbootsUK: bigbrownbootsUK sent you a picture message!

When I opened the pic, it's his selfie again, all smiles; his back infront of the thousands of fans in their concert. How cute! and how sweet. Wait, does that mean he was still thinking of me even while at stage that he managed to take a pic?

bigbrownbootsUK: I know it might be late there... Just want to say goodnight and don't let the bed bugs bite. We have a concert to finish here, Can't wait to talk to you later. x

Nikki_Garcia: Thanks. Have a great night there! Enjoy your time with your fans and the boys, they paid you guys to perform not to take selfies and chat on stage! :)

bigbrownbootsUK: Did I wake you?

Nikki_Garcia: No, I was just about to sleep. Goodnight from here.

bigbrownbootsUK: :) 

Although I was guilty, deep inside I was very happy that Harry was giving me so much attention. No one has really took the time to get to know me and make me smile in my life. This is the first time I was actually special to someone; oh no, not just someone, I was special to Harry Styles! If he only knew, I bet he wouldn't even bother answering me. That I think is the reason why I didn't wanna tell him the truth just yet, I was in a fantasy, I'm more than happy, for the first time in my boring life, someone shaked my world and reminded me that life could be fun, that I am alive, that I exist, that someone is thinking about me from the other side of the world; someone understands me. It's like he made me discover that I can be much happier than I am now. It's like a very beautiful, exciting dream and I'm scared to let that go. I'm aware that one day this might all go away but can I just keep this a little bit longer?

The next day after lunch, I checked my phone but Harry still haven't messaged me yet so I went to google and typed in his name and I saw headlines about him taking a selfie with fans and pictures of him texting on stage... smiling. Fans are begging him to upload his selfie on his instagram and twitter account; then I thought to myself, 'I have the pic, this is crazy! I saw it first before anyone else did, Am I the luckiest girl alive?' Aaaaaaaaaaaah.


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