When I wake up I can still smell the rum in his breath, still feel his hands around my neck, and can still hear his laughter. I was so close to death. I don't know how much more of this I can take. What if he gets tired of me one day and decides to go for her? He's threatened to take Renee away from me and has said that she will be next if I don't continue to pleasure him. He's scared me like that before: I was in the bathroom and when I came out both him and her were gone. I was panicking that he had stuck to his promise, panicking that my baby girl was lost forever. I was looking everywhere for them. I checked the bathroom again to see if she was in there and I asked some guy if he was in there with her. He said no but he seen a guy with a kid get into a car. My heart was beating so loud I thought everyone could hear it. I started asking people if they had seen her and they all said no. I went back to where we were sitting by the pool and there they were sitting eating ice cream. They weren't there when I came out of the bathroom. Renee ran to me and I hugged her tight and walked over to Matthew who had a grin on his face.
" Where the hell did you two go?" I was furious that he left me worried about MY daughter.
" We went to go get ice cream." He got up and put his arms around me and whispered in my ear, "I told you I could take your life away in a split second."
His face had a smile like he won and he took me by the arm and made me sit on his lap. To everyone else, we looked like a perfect, happy family, but in reality, I was trapped in his world and I couldn't escape. Not if I wanted to live.
I have to get Renee out of here while I still can. She is only two years old and if I take her now, she won't remember who he was. I have to do it soon though because I'm pregnant and he doesn't know it yet. I don't want this baby to live with Matthew as his/her father. So I have decided for all three of us. That's it. I will get away as soon as we get back home from Paris.
