To All The Boys I Have Loved

Signed,

To all the boys that I have loved before...

No, it's not all about the boys you are interested in to get married or just dating for even a little while.

My letter is to all the boys that I have loved in my life.

Dad, I'm sorry. You have left so early, and so soon. I think of you every day, wishing to know what you think of your daughter. For all those who post stuff on Facebook -- about saying that you love them before it's too late -- my too late already happened. I just want to say that I still love you, and I will one day make you proud.

My brothers, the ones that are done with me, play with me, and are never really close with me. I'm sorry that I have done all my mistakes and that you would have to deal with me. I hope that I would not miss my chance like I did with Dad and just say that I love you all. Even if you guys can be butts sometimes.

My first love. I hope that you are happy now, and that homophobic people may never get in your way. I know, I didn't believe that you were gay, and I hoped -- back then -- that it wasn't true. But as time goes on, and my feelings for you still lingers, I came to accept the fact. And I hope for you the best in life, and that I am able to silently help you throughout all the backlash that people SOMEHOW cause for the LGBTQ+ community. I loved you.

My first boyfriend. I'm sorry to say this but I can't really consider you as a boyfriend. To me, you are my best friend, the one that I love with all my heart as my brother from another mother. I'm sorry that we didn't last as long as you did with your previous girlfriends -- even though most of the ones that I knew you had were my friends -- and I'm sorry for not being as experienced as you were. I'm also kinda sad for not experiencing homecoming with you either. I love you as a brother and always.

My brothers from another mother. I love you crazy rascals a lot as you make my day with your stupid crap that comes out of your mouth. 

My most recent crush and love. I wanted to tell you face to face before the end of our performance. I wanted to tell you that I am the Ace that you were talking to, the one that confessed her feelings to you. But I couldn't. Because you loved another. And sometimes I was jealous, but then I knew that if I love you, I would want you to be happy.

To all the boys I've loved.

Thank you for giving me my very few experiences of different types of love.

Signed,

The one you will never know.