I woke up on a monday morning and I wasn't feeling well in the common sense. I was just staring at the ceiling in my room. "Goddammit." After a while I got up and stretched myself a little before going to the bathroom where I took off my boxers and hopped into the shower. I showered for a good 10 minutes; getting myself clean thoroughly before getting out, drying myself with a towel which I wrapped around my waist before going to my room. I discovered that I didn't have a clean pair of boxers there so I went downstairs, still only a blanket around myself to cover me up. I went through the living room into the kitchen and then into the washing closet. I grabbed a pair of washed boxers from there and closed it, heading back to the kitchen but before I could proceed to the living room I saw Nick sitting at my kitchen counter. He was looking at me with a big smirk on his face.
Nick was always like a brother for me. We were nearly the same age but it still felt like we were siblings. He did some dumb stuff as the younger one and I had to fix it. Granted; this isn't reality. Nick and I were only direct neighbours but we were close childhood friends. Now we were in our senior year at high school which he hated down to his guts. I can't exactly blame him for that. I wasn't the biggest fan of it either but if I wanted to be a teacher I had to have atleast decent grades so I put up with all the shit they threw at me.
"Nick you're here way earlier than usual...." "Well I decided to come over earlier since I wanted to talk with you." "Can this wait till I'm dressed in more than a towel? Also how the fuck did you get in here?" "Well your mom let me in and yes, it could." I walked out of the kitchen, into the living room and then upstairs again. "Goddammit now he's in my house." I sighed heavily before taking a deep breath. "Ok calm down Patrick. You can do this. He just wants to talk." I put on the boxers I had in my hands, a clean shirt from my room and some clean pants. I walked down the stairs again, putting on some socks as I stumbled back into the living room before finally falling down onto the kitchen floor because I had lost my balance trying to put on the socks while walking. With a loud thud I landed sideways on the floor. "Everything okay Patrick?" "Just fucking dandy." I got up before sitting down next to him, finally managing to put my socks on. "So....you wanted to talk?" My voice was barely there but he heard me perfectly well since he knew how to read me after all the years we had spent together. "Well yeah... this is about us two afterall." I blushed a little and tried to not let him notice it. "What is about us two?" "Well I was wondering if you maybe would like to go on a..." My heart was racing and I couldn't hear him anymore over it. "How's that sound?" "Fuck yeah. Let's do it." "Alright so the camping trip's settled. This weekend, just you and me in the woods." I fell backwards from my chair, right onto my ass and onto the floor once more. "Jesus...why don't you marry the floor if you spend so much time together?" He was smirking down at me before holding out his hand to help me up. I took it and got up.
I put on my black and white sneakers, picked up my bag and left my house with Nick. He always was the motivated and determined one out of us two but that also made him not consider others opinions even if they were right. The point is: If he put something into his mind he wanted to achieve, he would achieve it and he acted more stubborn than a creature mixed out of a ram and a mule to do so.
Then there was me. An unmotivated, depressed fat kid. No determination or motivation at all. Only if I really got into something. Think of me as the embodiment of a snail mixed with an elephant. Despite all of it, we became friends. Maybe it was just that we had the same interests or that we lived right next to each other. We walked to school each morning since it was really just a few blocks away so the bus would have been a waste. "Quit thinking so much." He gently punched me in the arm, ripping me out of these thoughts. "Huh?" I often just turned silent and stared into the distance. If you were walking in my path I would only have noticed you once I would've knocked you over. I just walked but lost in thought. Sometimes I did that in conversations too. You could be right in front of me and my gaze was towards you but I was far away in my thoughts. "Quit it Patrick." He punched me in the arm again, a little less gentle this time. "Sorry. Sometimes I just get lost in thought." "You're such a weirdo sometimes. I like that in you." My heart began to race again as my face slowly turnt red. I thought my heart would collapse from all this pumping. "A camping trip huh." I stammered it out as quietly as possible. "What was that?" Nick had heard me and I replied with the usual lie: "Nothing really." "Sure." I think at this point he never believed me when I said these words because they meant that my mind was troubled by something. He knew damn well when I had problems and always wanted to help me with them. I don't know if it was my pride or just personal preference but I never could take help from anyone but myself. Sometimes it was a blessing, sometimes way too harmful. We just walked beside each other for a good 5 minutes, just being quiet to ourselves. I decided to suddenly start up the conversation again: "What a fan-fucking-tastic day for school. Especially on a monday." "Fuck school. I can't wait to just blow this town off." "Yeah...." We continued to walk towards school in silence again because I didn't know what to say and he probably didn't wanna talk at all at that moment. We walked and walked when the school came into sight as unexpectedly as it always did. The peak of it glanced over the hill we were living on. Just a small stroll down was all it would take for us to get there. "Race you there." Nick always played for competition, to feel that sense of accomplishment. "It gets old for you to beat me. I've never caught up with you before. Why would today be different?" "Hm....think about it like this. I'm a tasty zebra and you're a hungry lion. Chase my ass to get some food." In that moment I pictured me gently nibbling on his ass. I scattered the thought and looked at him. "Fine." "3...2...1... Go." He began running downhill on the sideway to which I replied by chasing after him. I saw him slowly getting farther away from me. I looked at his butt and I don't really recall what went down after that. I just ran and ran, chasing after him. I felt my lungs burning as I ran and ran and then I just blacked out. I woke up later, the nurse leaning over me. "W-what?....." I was surprised to see the nurse of all people. My eyes slowly began adjusting themselves to the indoor light which was when I noticed that I was laying in the nurses office. "Calm down Patrick." The nurse began talking to me which eased me a little. "What happened....?" "Your body produced a lot of adrenalin and that's why you passed out. Thankfully Nick dragged you here or else you could have been dead by now. He said that you were screaming: " I'm coming for that ass!" before you passed out in front of the school." "Did I win?" "Win what?"
"Our race." Nick was standing in the doorway and looked at me. "Well yeah. You won." I smirked at him. "You were right. Just gotta awaken my inner lion you zebra." He weakly chuckled. "Are you okay?" "Yeah just a bit drowsy." I began getting red again. "Nick would you go to class now? I'll take care of him." "Alright. Don't die on me." He left after saying that. "Why don't you just tell him?"
Miss Clarice, the nurse, was my go to when I had troubles. I didn't trust the guidance counselor anymore after he touched me on my shoulders. Felt like death touching me. Martha always had an open ear for me. We were on a given name basis. She always knew if something was up with me. I told her how I felt about Nick and she understood. I really didn't like to talk about it but with her I felt so at ease. Maybe she was just charismatic.
"Martha I can't tell him. What if he doesn't feel the same or doesn't want to be with a guy?" "He would still be your friend after you told him. A childhood friendship doesn't break that easily." "Why can't he just know without me saying it out loud?" "Because no one is gonna make life easier on you. No one will help you carry your load. Only encourage you to push on. If you won't tell him then it's gonna eat away your soul and your soul is what makes you you and special." "Ugh...." I stood up. "Some days you make me hate you even if what you say is an omnipotent truth." Martha smiled at me in her usual "I'm gonna make atleast one person smile today"- manner. I began to slowly walk into my class where I sat right next to Nick in the back of the classroom. I had an eerie feeling in my stomach as I wandered the empty halls. I heard people who weren't even there talk about me. I was fucking terrified when I reached the classroom. I slowly opened the door and everything went quiet as everyone stared at me, even our teacher. They all looked at me like I was a ghost or something. " Sorry I'm late." Our english teacher said:" It's fine. Nick already told me about the situation. Get to your seat." I weakly tumbled to my seat and sat down. "Are you okay? You look like shit." Nick whispered to me.
"I'm fine."
