Paper Planes | BxB

Eternal rest

Sitting at the edge of the shore was my fault. I never heard the sound of the waves crashing into the sand. I never saw the ripples of water dancing on the top of the vast ocean. I never wondered why I was even sitting on that beach that evening.

I was too ignorant and thought that my own problems were more important than the simple beauty In life, but here I was.
In red swimming trunks and a bottle of vodka and coke, drinking my endless sorrow and regret away.

I dropped the almost full bottle of dilute vodka and walked up to the water. I dipped my fingers into the water. it was cold but with the warmth of the summers evening. it had an unusual sensation.
I slowly began walking into the water
The chill of the cold water touching my pale skin.
I was at a certain point where I decided to stay as I didn't want to stray too far from the shore.

I let my self float on top of the water. Small waves rising my body with a steady and constant rhythm. I closed my eyes and began to imagine...
_______________________________________

I don't want to be alone...

               Well no one does.. right?
_______________________________________

Her long locks, big brown eyes were now embroided in my mind. She was my everything. She stopped my mind from coming to places like this.

From feeling this..

I smiled as I imagined walking with her..

Until it was too late... She was left unable to dream. Unable to- she was taken away too soon...
My voice went hoarse and warm tears streamed down my face

I was crying again. As if I hadn't cried enough.

And they say a man shouldn't cry.. huh..

Pathetic I know.

She's been gone for two years now.. and it was all my fault..

FLASHBACK

She laughed at me Rolling her eyes as she turned up the music of my cheap car radio.

I can't believe she was going to be gone for a while 7 days.

" Oh Oh Oh Ohhhhhh-!"

I laughed and responded with
"Where are we?!"

She pouted jokingly.
"Where at the airport.."

I laughed and escorted her out of my car.

Five minutes later she boarded the plane with a grand smile on her face.
Little did she know.. Little did I know that was the last smile I ever would see...

The plane began to lift off

but...

One of the rotors exploded and the plane came to a crash.

Nothing...

She was gone..

Forever..

I don't think we will ever know how much someone means to us until they are gone.

Even though 3 years had passed I think I still had the memory fresh in my mind.

Like paint in the sense it was still drying or like embroidery, it would take eternity to unpick every thread that me and-

It hurts to say her name.

Every thing she did thread a new memory. When I was down she glued the broken pieces and  heart together with her affection.

Which brings me to the beach on the anniversary of who I thought was going to be my wife one day.

Truly the love of my life

I wanted close my eyes fall back into the cold water and fall into my  eternal rest.
  Sometimes I thought about leaving to be with her. 

But it wouldn't make her happy.

And even though she's gone the fragments of my mind still think she's with me. Telling me to stop smoking , telling me to stop thinking dark thoughts..

If I was with her. My heart wouldn't be in the right place. I know I need to let go but it gets so hard..

A / N
I really hope you enjoy this story so far. I really do.
Keep reading! It will take quite a bit for me to upload since I need to come up with some fresh ideas but until then... enjoy paper planes!