The Lure Of Cali

TORN (the next couple of months)

I never got to find out what happened and didn’t bother to ask, when Cali started being more flirty than normal, in the weeks to follow. Cali’s flirty by nature but never to me. I liked the attention she suddenly showed me, but wondered where it came from. She would stop talking about Bria and be affectionate to me.

As her best friend, I wanted to know.

 As somebody who found her highly attractive I didn’t care to know, just wanted to enjoy it while it last. I knew she still had feelings for Bria. But maybe Cali didn’t realize it herself.

But the question oppressing my mind was what happened between them that made her like me again. It didn’t seem to make sense…I was torn between being a good best friend and seizing a chance to be with somebody that I really liked.

I took my chances and fell under Cali’s grace. It was wonderful to call her baby and hear that she would miss me after we would part ways. Her hugs were the kind where you would never want to let go, to have someone hold you that tight was enough to make your heart skip a beat.

 Our friends supported it, but we all knew about Bria.

 I found myself questioning Cali and Bria’s new “friendship” as things between us really started to progress. It started up a lot of arguments and paranoia that was affecting us. Over all damaging our friendship and the fact that I saw her as one day being my girlfriend didn’t seem to matter anymore.I went back to drinking. I just wanted things to go back to the way they were. I saw the way Cali looked at Bria, and even though I believed her when she said she likes me, I knew her feelings for Bria were stronger. We had our good times together, our first kiss, late night conversations and silly arguments. She treated me good, don’t get me wrong but it just wasn’t right. She would tell me that I was the only girl she talked to, but I knew I wasn’t ‘her girl’. Bria’s held that top spot title since the day Cali laid eyes on her. It still brought me joy to see them together. So time after time of bringing up Bria, I realized the pain in Cali’s eyes; she never wanted to talk about it. I turned to Cali’s closest friends for help and guidance, which only confirmed my preconceived notions.

Finally after 2 months of us trying to make this idea of “US” work we decided it just couldn’t happen. We had a huge blow-up argument making me bitch at Cali in a way I never imagined I would. This had stressed both of us out and all I wanted was for her to admit she wanted to be with Bria. It frustrated the shit out of me to have her tell me ‘it’s nothing’ or ‘I’m not with her, Nevaeh, I’m with you’ or ‘stop asking me about her’. Like by lying to me she was lying to herself.

Cali loved Bria in some way or another but she didn’t want to face that fact for herself. She was astounded that a girl could change her ways, I mean we all were. I think it scared her to be so serious with one girl but, I encouraged her to go back to Bria because I knew they were meant to be together. I cared for Cali in the way where I just wanted her to be happy, whether it was with Bria or anybody for that matter. But the fact that I was no longer the factor in between them set my mind at ease.

We were BOTH happier when she was with Bria. I got my best friend back and Cali got her girl.