ad verecundiam

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7.

 {for julia for being adorable and an amazing writer tbh}

The rain is freezing cold. Aiden's being pelted with it everywhere. On his neck, on his hands, on his face and it fucking hurts. It's falling fast and hard and he's really starting to wish he'd worn a jacket.

Shit that hurt, he thinks, bringing his hand up to rub the back of his neck where a particularly painful raindrop hit him. Are the meteorologists even sure this is rain? Because to Aiden it feels an awful lot like hail. He winces as yet another unnaturally painful raindrop ricochets off his cheekbone leaving an irritatingly uncomfortable sensation there. He lets it hit him though, partially because it's inevitable and partially because he thinks he deserves it. He was kind of rude to Delia and he feels bad even if she was- is- a bitch.

             She didn't seem to feel any remorse for how she treated you so why do you feel bad about being even slightly rude to her? Aiden has to admit this is true but it doesn't really make him feel any better and the return of the annoying inner voice from a few days ago does not help. Because she's hot, it says and Aiden is truly disappointed that one cannot slap oneself without injuring themselves in the process.

Must we do this again? He thinks exasperatedly. The internal silence is answer enough and he is greatly relieved.

The relief is momentary, however, because soon enough the regret envelopes him again.

Maybe he should have just let her stay with him. Why'd he have to tell her straight out that he didn't – doesn't – like her? Sure, he does not find her company particularly pleasant but he could have possibly gotten used to it. And even if he didn't, it couldn't have been for that long, right? Yeah, he agrees, nodding, yeah, it'll just be for a little while. Maybe a week – two tops. I can do that. I mean, I don't want her sleeping on some park bench, do I?

Then he's running, through the hail-like rain, searching for a girl he doesn't even like. And he thinks it's probably a lost cause because he can't even see through this rain and how does he expect to find one person in such a big city?

But he runs anyway and he calls out her name desperately and he probably looks like some hopeless romantic looking for their 'one true love' when that couldn't be farther from the truth. But Aiden doesn't care.

He just needs to find her. He needs to make things right. It's this desperation for justice that compels Aiden to spend his entire afternoon searching the crowded streets of NYC in the middle of a rainstorm for a girl he doesn't even know if he wants to see again.

By nine o'clock at night (yes, Aiden is that dedicated), he's ready to give up. He's soaking wet from head to toe, freezing cold, possibly has bruises from the penny sized hail (yes, it was hail, not rain), and he's fucking tired.

Lazily, he lifts his arm up, trying in vain to hail a taxi. He deduces that they can't see him through   the post-storm fog, which is why he can't get a cab, but he tries anyway.

After his arms are tired and his voice is stiff and scratchy from repeatedly yelling 'Taxi!" he drops his arm and shrugs his shoulders dejectedly. Guess, I'm walking, and so Aiden resumes his walking - prepared for a tiring and long journey home. At least the rain's stopped. He uses this pathetic thought in a sad attempt to comfort himself. (It doesn't work.)

And so he continues to walk – disappointed and feeling vaguely like a failure.

*****

Aiden had long ago given up hope that he'd ever see Delia again which is why her sudden appearance is such a shock to him. She's a few yards ahead of him, dodging through the waves of people. He can only see her back but the way her long black hair bounces as she walks and the boots she's wearing are definitive enough qualities. But the sheer air of confidence and carelessness in which she walks leaves no room for doubt as to who the girl is. Her rejected look from the coffee shop earlier has been replaced – long ago, Aiden presumes, he can't imagine her moping around in self-pity for long – by the typical 'I-don't-give-a-fuck' aura that Aiden has grown accustomed to.

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