cashton imagines

☁︎| ashton

word count: 1224
warnings: explicit language !!!

SHATTERED

ashton's been coming home late for a month now. i don't know how i'm suppose to confront him but i have too. yesterday when he stumbled in at 3 am i checked his phone while he was in the bathroom & he is texting this leeann chick. all the messages were flirty like "babe i wanna see you" & "i'll be over later baby, can't wait to feel you in me". in that moment everything came crashing down; my faith, love, & sanity.

i decided earlier today i need to ask him about it, i have to. i can't stand to be in the same bed as him anymore. seeing his face fills me with rage. i don't see the caring loving man i use to.

i know he's going to come back again at 3 am since that's all he knows how to do now. it's almost 3 & i'm terrified. he never comes back drunk, only sober. which makes it even worse. he can't blame it on the alcohol or anything because it was all him. and that makes me even sadder.

just then i hear the bedroom door open. i look up seeing a tall figure dressed in all black. my heart shrinks as i see the smile on his face. he rubs his neck harshly & i can tell it hurts. he finally notices i'm sitting on the edge of the bed. his eyes widen & the smile fades.

"hey what are you doing up?"

he comes closer sitting next to me. i take in his face in the dim light. my eyes go down to his neck & i see a dark berry purple spot. we haven't ever done anything sexual lately so i know it wasn't from me.

all the anger stirred up inside me comes out. i stand up raising my voice loudly,"how could you!"

i turn around covering my mouth starting to let the liquid fall from my tired eyes. he gets up putting his arm around me but i smack it away. i return back looking directly at his eyes," i should have listened to everyone. you're nothing but a dick, you don't give a shit about me!"

all i see is confusion on his face sending me over the edge. i can't believe he's acting like he hasn't done anything. all my friends warned me about how much of a player he is. but of course me being me, i didn't listen.

"baby calm down-" he tries to rub my shoulder like he always does when he wants me to chill but i back away.

"calm down? are you fucking kidding me!" my voice breaks at the end & i hold my forehead not looking at him. my crop top comes up & i aggressively tug it down.

"you need to tell me what's wrong y/n. i don't under-"

"you're screwing another girl." i say it more of a statement since i know it's true. but unfortunately now i have to pull the truth out of him since i can already tell he's not going to give it to me right away.

"y/n why would you think that?"

my blood boils," do you see your neck! do you see those scratches on your back! don't even get me started on that horrible bitch perfume that you know i don't wear because of my allergies!"

"that doesn't mean-"

"stop! why can't you just admit to what you've done!"

"i didn't do anything y/n! you're being ridiculous!"

at this point he's face to face with me. i'm so disgusted i feel like i'm going to throw up. he loves me so little he can't even put down his pride to admit something horrible he's done to hurt me.

i lower my voice, giving up," cut the crap ashton. are you cheating?"

for the first time i really stare into his eyes, his stupid beautiful mesmerizing eyes. i fell in love with those eyes but now it's like being face to face with betrayal.

he opens his mouth beginning to speak but nothing comes out. he reaches out his hands not knowing what to do. the look of sorrow on his face would have been enough for me to stop arguing normally, but as of right now, i'm done with the games.

i shake me head, crossing my arms & returning my gaze back to the floor. "i thought you loved me ash."

he flinches at me saying ash, as if he didn't expect me to say a nickname i thought was so cute.

"i did love you- no i-i do love you!"

"how long ashton?" it sounds as if the life has been sucked out of me. my voice is barely audible with the tears streaming down from my eyes.

"a month." he looks down momentarily but then sees me start to cry harder. moving in closer, he intertwined his fingers with mine. i let him hold it, wanting to feel what i couldn't have even if is just for a second.

"did you really think i wouldn't find out? how long were you planning on going? is she a better fuck or something?" i don't find his orbs since i'm too scared that i might fall for that broodingly gorgeous face again.

by now he's getting desperate. i can't tell if he's scared to lose me or scared for the public to find out. of course i'd never tell the public what went on with ash but they have their ways of finding information.

"no no! listen to me, this girl isn't who i love. i've just been lonely.... & i-i needed someone. she's not even half amazing as you are! baby please i'm so sorry."

his voice is soft & is reeling me in. but he shouldn't have been lonely because i was here. if he loved me he wouldn't have thought about fooling around with another girl. if i am so amazing we wouldn't be having this argument. if he is really sorry he would know we have to end this.

"are you really sorry? or are you just sorry you got caught?"

some shock takes his eyes making them widen at my snap. he doesn't answer causing me to roll my eyes.

"leave." i state simply.

before i know it he's on his knees holding onto my waist. "honey, please i love you. i always have. i'm just stupid.....i don't know what i was thinking! please just give me one more chance!" this & much more is spewing out his lips.

ugh his lips. i just want to kiss them and say everything will be alright. but knowing where they've been i want to throw them through a shredder.

now he's crying & kissing my bare stomach. i decide to speak up during his rambling. "i said leave ashton." as if i was a robot i look straight ahead not giving any emotion to my voice. all the "love" that was here is gone & i want him gone too.

"baby come on, what about everything we have!"

"you ruined that ashton!" i stab my finger to his chest making him step back. he doesn't say anything in return.

with one last look, he turns around bolting out the door. a few seconds pass & i hear the front door slam. that's when the last piece of our love shattered.