The Art of Loving

[42] I Like You. A Lot.

"So if I wore a shirt saying 'Ellie is my girlfriend'..."

"Please don't," she told him with a smile smile, shaking her head. "I don't know, why would you? Who do you feel that you have to prove to that you have a girlfriend?"

"Mhm," he mumbled again. "Alright, I think I see what you mean. So... Ok, if I got us matching bracelets or whatever... If I understand you correctly you'll be fine with that?"

Ellie couldn't help but smile. "I think that would be adorable, I would love that. But you see, that's different, because while those bracelets would mean something to us, most people wouldn't think they're special. I don't know. I guess I'm a little weird when it comes to things like that. At least for now I prefer keeping my feelings private. I already share quite a lot with you for that if I'm honest. But it's easy, and I don't mind at all because you're wonderful. You actually try to understand instead of telling me I'm wrong right away. And you know, I might be. I don't know, I have no experience. But I will have to see what happens and I don't mind that at all with you."

"I'm glad you feel so comfortable around me now."

"I really do," she confirmed. "You make it so easy and I appreciate it so much that you actually put up with this. I know not everyone would, but you're actually amazing. I don't want you to think that I'm ashamed of you, because I'm anything but that... But all of this is still overwhelming and intimidating. I'm sorry, I've been talking way too much. You should stop me if I do this, Bri."

"No, I like it. It's interesting. So far you haven't shared that much about things like that, but I always want to know how you feel and why."

"That's good. You can always tell me if I'm being annoying."

Brian placed his hand on her arm and smiled. "You're not being annoying, Ellie. I love hearing your voice and I love learning more about you."

"That's good. I figured, but it's always good to hear that."

"I do have one question though... Just please don't freak out.."

Ellie raised her eyebrows. "What kind of question is it that you worry about that?" She asked curiously. "I'll try not to."

"Are you one of those people who hate marriage and never want to get married?" He asked before he quickly added, "I am just curious, Ellie, nothing else."

Ellie still got tense. "Brian, I don't want to get into that now," she told him firmly. "I don't want to discuss that."

"Ellie, please relax. I'm not suggesting anything, I'm just curious because... Well, I am curious. There's no ulterior motive. I promise. I'm just asking because... according to what you said, weddings aren't your cup of tea."

Ellie shifted in her seat. It seems that there was no way out of of answering that. "Fine. But let it go afterwards. You're right. I don't really get the point of weddings if I'm honest. It's a lot of money for ... nothing, in the end. But... I love the idea behind being married. It's such a wonderful thing. So I would get married, but I wouldn't have a big wedding. Is that a good enough answer?"

"It is," Brian said softly. "Thank you. I think that makes perfect sense. I promise I was just genuinely curious.."

Ellie shook her head. "Just let it go, please."

It became quiet in the van as Ellie continue to focus on the road, trying to block out the conversation they had just had. But she couldn't. "Brian it's not that I'm not comfortable talking about things like that with you, because weirdly enough I am.. It's just that topic..." She shook her head. "It always ends in discussions or arguments and I don't want that today."