Love, Birth, Death

Love, Birth, Death Part 2

                                                             Chapter Three

It has been twelve hours and Castiel hasn’t left my side, my brothers bring down some food and have even been on a hunt. I know that Castiel will have to leave soon so I am hoping that the pain will go before he has to, he cannot stay in here with me forever he must be needed elsewhere, and I feel guilty that he has to stay cooped up in here with me. He never complains either with makes me even more guilty.

“Alex I have your favourite film.” Sam smiled as he came in through the door, a block buster’s bag in hand. I was confused I had a lot of favourite films; I could even pick which one I liked best.

I sat up as he perked my interest. “Which one is it? I have lots of favourites.” I asked, Castiel hand on my leg.

“Hmm not sure really.” He teased as he pulled out the DVD; I knew what it was straight away by the cover on the case. “The one with the cute guy you like, I also think he’s topless.”

“GIVE IT TO ME.” I screeched and lunched myself at him; I wrestled the DVD of him and stood up satisfied. I smiled but it soon vanished as a crippling pain hit me, like a ripping at my abdomen I hunched over to stop the pain as I screamed out. Castiel had me in his arms, and carried me back over to the bed.

“Alex I’m so sorry… I forgot… I thought… you were sick like when we were younger.”

I nodded because I couldn’t blame him, I had forgotten too. At least I knew the pain was still then, and if anything it had gotten worse. I wasn’t going to tell them thought, they would worry and they had enough to deal with. Plus I couldn’t deal with Dean Self-loathing, the way he blames everything that happens to us on him.

Then there was the Lucifer problem, I didn’t want to see him rise I couldn’t stand to see anyone else I loved die and that included Castiel, He had become a great friend to this family I was just glad he was indestructible, I had watched enough people I cared about die already and I couldn’t stand to see anymore 

As if he read my mind Castiel says. “If the pains gotten worse tell us, because it could mean death for you.”

“It hasn’t.” I lied, I couldn’t tell them. I wanted to but I couldn’t, they had enough to deal with and I couldn’t distract them. Stopping the seals was more important what was I compared to the hundreds, no, properly millions of people that would die? They needed to stop Lucifer been risen, and if me lying was going to save many lives then I would take that.

I looked to see Sam didn’t believe me and neither did Castiel. But I wasn’t going to tell them, I could handle it, after all it was my own fault I had gotten infected with the stupid hormone anyway. I couldn’t watch anymore people die, so I may as well lie to them get them.

“I don’t know Alex; I think you should consider sleeping with a guy. How bad can it be?”

My eyed widened. “No Sammy, I’m not sleeping with a random guy.” I said it rather harshly. 

But he shouldn’t have suggested it. Even if I did I already had someone in mind, but won’t and it can’t never happen. I wasn’t about to sleep with some random guy, I wanted I to be special and to have feelings for the guy. I didn’t want to sleep with some here of in some sleazy motel room, well maybe if I cared for the guy then I would but only one person holds that amount of my feelings.

“Seriously you should consider it” Sam said sadness deep in his eyes. “Sex before marriage isn’t that bad and besides would you really rather die?”

That’s a very good question;Yes I properly would at least if I die I die as pure as I possibly can be, but I also want to live first. I hunt monsters and saves people’s lives, and it’s the only thing I’ve ever really done. I once had a lick of alcohol but I hated, the only good thing I did was go to the lake with my brothers, and Sam and Dean light fireworks.