Open Diary/Letters

Dear D, (That's a code name for someone btw)

I don't know exactly what you were wanting to accomplish with the friendship we formed. I don't know what benefits you thought you would get. But it's obvious you didn't want to keep that friendship as much as I did. I never should have given into peer pressure and told you about my feelings for you. But that's in the past and i can't take it back now. All I can do is move on.

But that's where the problem starts.

Moving on is harder than I thought. If you lose someone you really love and care about, it's not as easy as just saying, "well that sucked. Goodbye forever."

And trust me, I really cared about you. Enough so that I pushed my feelings for you aside so that I could help you work things out with your girl-friend. I didn't just watch you walk away, I helped you. And then you hurt me.

You and I both know, as you said in your email, that you already had a hunch that I had romantic feelings for you. You also knew, that I had extreme anxiety and had panic attacks often. So where in your mind did you think it was a good idea to 'make a joke' and tell me you hate me for liking you? I was crushed. I cried for 3 hours before I could muster the courage to text you back.

What you did was cruel, D.

Then, not a week later, you text me asking me of I'm coming to pep band as if nothing happened. I'm sorry but that's not how it works. You want to be friends again, but I know you're just gonna hurt me again. And that's why I'm trying to move on. So please, D. Please just stay away from me so I can recover from the damage you did.

I will survive without you, even though you think other wise.

Goodbye.

-Kas