Remember how we got to know each other?
The first time we talked?
Remember how you cheered me up that night?
When I feel so down and my frustrations are killing me
You uplifted my spirit.
You've shown me how to see things the positive way.
That I can overcome those challenges.
And starting that day, I knew I wanna be friends with you.
As time goes by, we get to know each other more.
We talk almost everyday, every night.
We talk about all the craziness and dramas of life.
We talk about you, we talk about me.
We talk about almost everything under the sun.
I must say I like your humor. I like your wit.
I like your corny jokes. I like your punchlines, even the pick-up lines.
I like how you talk. I like your voice.
But as days, weeks went on, I learned the things that I don't like about you.
I don't like how you look down on yourself.
I don't like it when you say you don't believe in yourself.
I don't like you joking around about dying
And as a friend, whom you've helped with during the time when I needed someone to talk to,
I feel like it was payback time.
That it's time for me to help you.
To help you realize your worth.
To let you know that you're not trash but a gold.
You just have to believe in yourself
because I believe in you.
I tried to make a dare
Not for me to get a treat from you
But for you to avoid saying those negative things about yourself.
At first you're having a hard time
But later on, slowly by slowly,
you may not notice it,
but I can see that you seldom say 'it'.
I thought I did it.
I thought I made you change for better.
I thought i'm doing the right thing as your friend.
Time passed, we already know a lot of things about each other.
I already know a lot of things about you.
The movies you watch, the songs you listen to.
I know how you make a living.
Your personal infos, about your friends, about your family
I get to know the problems you're facing.
The challenges, the conflicts, your daily struggles.
And i'm always here to cheer you up.
To advise you, give you words of encouragement.
To help you realize how brave you are and that you can face all of it.
All of 'em.
But did I make it?
I guess I didn't.
I guess no matter how many times I try to say you can,
that you have what it takes,
it's never enough. Will never be enough.
You will always believe in what you believe in.
And it hurts me.
As your friend, I feel like i'm useless.
That I can't do anything to help you out.
And it frustrates me.
You know what?
Here's a thing.
Here's the gdamn thing.
I think i'm starting to like you.
Because in the first place, I like your personality.
For me you're different. You're really something.
I tried to convince myself that i'm just confused with my feelings.
I tried to think every possibilities and the impossibilities.
The pros and the cons.
And after all this time
After we met for the second time, I thought everything has changed.
I thought the feeling is mutual.
I thought i've seen the hints from you.
The sweetness, the care, the thoughtfulness.
You, giving me your time.
You, opening up to me.
You, sharing your life and problems with me.
I thought what i'm thinking about your feelings towards me was right.
And so I used that card.
Yeah, I used 'that'.
Going back to what i'm saying earlier,
I hate it when you're saying negative things about yourself.
I'm starting to pity you and I don't like it.
Honestly, I hate that you're going through those tough situations.
I just want you to be happy
because you deserve it.
Again, I used 'that' card.
Because i'm desperate.
I thought - by telling that if you'll continue saying those negativities
about yourself, it'd be better to stop
talking to me - you'll buy it.
I thought you wouldn't like the idea of me not chatting you.
I thought you wouldn't want to lose me.
And that you'll stop saying those things about yourself
just for me to not stop talking to you.
I thought I can make it again
Just like how I made it thru the dare.
But I was wrong all along.
I thought you'll stop me.
I thought you'll not let me go.
Because you like me and that you cherish what we have.
The kind of relationship that we have.
But I was fvcking wrong.
You gave me up so easily.
You let me go without having a second thought.
After that Sunday night we stopped communicating.
You don't know hard it was for me.
The first day was torture.
Even the second, the third, until weeks have passed.
I missed you so bad.
I'm not used to not talking to you.
But still, there's a hope.
Hope that you'll realize it soon.
That you miss me.
That you can't last a day not talking to me
Because that is how I feel.
I thought you'll gonna chat me saying
that you'll never say those things again
So you'll be able to talk to me again.
And again, I was wrong.
I haven't got any chat from you.
Or maybe I had, but it's not the same anymore.
The coldness is there.
Very civil.
Like we're back to being strangers.
The feeling is not there anymore.
Or maybe there's really no feelings to begin with.
And i'm just one hell of an assuming.
Days, weeks, months have passed.
Until I haven't heard anything from you.
Until I found out you've cut the thread that connects us.
You've unfriended me.
I can't believe how you managed to do that.
And that was when I realized, i'm really nothing to you.
I just belong to those who come and go into your life.
Nothing special.
Forgettable.
I was wrong all along.
And I just end up hurting.
I was left hanging.
I didn't see all of it coming.
And I realized I am the one who's not worth it.
But thanks for the memories.
