It's been 10 months since i last talked to you. And its been a complete rollercoster of a ride these last 10 months. It's funny how when I ended it how bitter we left off and how stupidly eager i was just to get rid of you and move foreword in my life. Part of me hates that i did that because 10 months foreword and I'm regretting it. I wish so badly i didn't get rid of you, that I stayed, i wish i could tell you right now how mf crazy im going thinking about on countless nights, including this one. What you made me feel and what we had, the ache in my CHEST and the way my throat chokes up everytime i read any of the paragraphs you use to send me i cant handle it. I'm so sorry, for giving up and for pushing u away, u always told me i always pushed you away and that i was scared and u took things so slowly for me coz u knew i was an absolute fucking baby which i am. Which i always fucking will be and ur the only man that every baby'd me u know? Just u were everything to me and i regret it man, even our fights i miss, i miss everything. It was such a special time in my life. I dont think anyone could ever understand how much i loved you and still think about you.
