Writing Mistakes You're Making

Description: When to Describe Characters

Don’t give a full character description the moment you’re introducing a character. Okay, I won’t say “don’t” (and that’s only because J.K. Rowling and other like authors do it successfully), but come on, if you’re doing it for every character, it’s too much. Especially in a novel when you have the room to casually place in a detail here and another one there, there is no reason to throw all of that description at your reader at once. (Would you rather someone forced chocolate cake down your throat as fast as they could, or eat a slice each night while relaxing and watching TV?) The point is, it sounds extremely obvious and formulaic, and we see right through it. 

Example: Amy walked in. She had brown hair with red highlights, and her teeth sparkled in the sunlight like a Crescent commercial. I was jealous of her slim figure; she always attracted the attention of the boys. She worked for it though, going to the gym every weekend, while I was at home playing World of Warcraft. When I went over to her I noticed she was wearing a green shirt that said “Hottie” on it and red flip flops. After I said hi to Amy I saw John. He was tall with scruffy black hair that never seemed to look neat. I couldn’t help but notice his tight t-shirt, stretched over his abs. His best feature was his eyes, though. They were a deep forest green and always had a quiet sparkle of life in them. When I spoke with him, his arms were crossed and I could see his muscles clenching and unclenching. He was the guy that all the girls, and some of the guys, lusted after. He was the star quarterback on the football team, and he was friends with everybody. He had a nice personality and everyone got along with him.

If you break these descriptions up and add them naturally into the story, it won’t be so blatant that you’re telling your reader what they look like, and they’ll still get the picture.

A subset of this is to avoid constantly mentioning the same aspect about different people. I recently read a story where every single character’s eye color was mentioned at least once. This especially applies if it’s the only characteristic you’re writing about. Which you shouldn’t be.