There has to be a mistake, I said to myself after four pregnancy test strips. The results were all positive, but hey, I couldn't trust these products anymore. I remembered there were lots of false positives with these pregnancy test kits and I wasn't someone who would easily believe what I was seeing.
I just know that I'm not pregnant.
You're just in denial, Sophie, said a voice inside my head. A voice inside my head. A voice... Oh God, I'm going nuts! This is too much! I don't want my unborn baby to have a crazy mother!
Your unborn baby? So, you're finally accepting it, huh? said the voice, and I could picture her smirking at me.
But, it's ridiculous! It's impossible. He had always used a condom and-
Oh, a condom, you said? Well, it's not impossible because technically, a condom is just 98% effective. You should've used other contraceptive or birth control pills-
I know, I know! But what's done is done. So, shut the fuck up!
Yeah, whatever. Just face it, Sophie. You're pregnant.
I'm pregnant.
I'm pregnant.
I'M PREGNANT.
I could hear my ears buzzing, the word pregnant echoing in my head. Over and over. Until it somehow lost its meaning. P-R-E-G-N-A-N-T. Was that even a word? But then, I looked at the four white strips on the sink and it struck me again.
I'M PREGNANT.
I started hyperventilating and felt the bathroom walls closing in on me. I stood up too quickly and blood rushed to my head... just as million thoughts came rushing in at once. I steadied myself, knocking over a bottle of lotion to the floor. The pink cream smeared the white tiles.
I cried. I felt sorry for the perfectly nice lotion that was wasted because of my clumsiness. But mostly, I felt sorry for myself and the mess I got into. I slumped on the floor and bawled my eyes out, mainly because I didn't know what else to do.
I was seriously considering drowning myself in the toilet bowl or the sink – yeah, we don't have a bathtub in our dorm room – because my dad would kill me anyway if he found out about my pregnancy. Then he would be sent to jail for murdering me and my mom would resort to alcohol to forget her problems. My younger brother would grow up in a hostile environment, leading him into a life of drugs, sex, and rock n' roll. My grandparents, all four of them, would have a heart attack because it really takes the smallest things to surprise them these days. I might as well go to the funeral home and reserve caskets for them before I tell them this horrible news. It would be the neighborhood's greatest tragedy.
Yeah, I would be banished from our house and hated by all my relatives because of what I did, so I would have to live under a bridge somewhere with my baby. And the father-
Oh shit, the father of my baby...
Really, what is wrong with me? What was I thinking? Why did I think of him just now? Of course, it takes a male and a female species to reproduce, except during asexual reproduction, where the offspring comes from a single parent only, like in-
Where was I again?
The father of my baby...
The father of my baby is... ohmygod.
I should tell Dave.
