Lost

"Help! Can anyone hear me?! Hello? Anyone..." My voice fades.

It's cold here. And there's no food. No bed, just me and these cold steel walls. I felt like I was in jail. Only I had done nothing wrong. I was here against my will. It's freezing. Im shaking, and I cant feel my legs. I can see my breath as I exhale from my mouth. It looked like I was smoking twelve cigarettes, when really I was only breathing the dry, cold air.

"Screaming wont do you any good dear." He says, while his hand makes its way up my leg.

"G-get off of me...." I try to yell and kick my leg up. A weak kick. A kick that took all of the energy out of me. A kick that changed everything.

Like I said, I cant feel my legs. So I couldn't feel when I knee connected with his jaw.

His head cocked back and he grabbed his face. A smirk rising on it.

"Big. Mistake." He laughed and grabed my wrists.

I struggled and tried to pull away. "Let me go! What did I do?! Why are you doing this!" I yell as my voice cracks.

He picks me up and throws me over his shoulder. "Ask your father..." He says coldly.

As I open my mouth to scream, I realize I've been screaming this whole time. I just couldnt hear it. In fact, no one could. Not even me. How could I expect other people to hear my screams, when... even I couldn't.

× • × • × • × • × • ×

I woke up covered in dirt. I go to sit up and hit my head on something hard. Wood. Wood... Hard, cold, wood. I put my hand up and touch it. The box im in. Im in a box, its cold. And I can hear cars passing by.

I scream. "Help!!!!" I yell and bang my fists on the wood in front of me. I kick my feet and scream until I feel like I'll never be able to talk again.

No one comes, no one hears me...

× • × • × • × • × • ×

I open my eyes and sit up about to scream. I put my hand over my heart and tell myself it was just a dream.

But thats the thing, it wasn't just a dream. It was real, because it happened to me. Last year. December 6th, 2013.

I was going for a run when he found me. I dont remember anything when im awake, but when im asleep its like I relive it. And I have that same dream everynight.

Most people fantasize about sleeping. They love having dreams. But I can't remember the last dream I had. The only thing my mind knows is a nightmare.

I turn my head and look at the only light in my room, my alarm clock. 3:19 am.

I sit there staring at the time waiting for it to be morning. And I know that watching the time makes things go slower. But maybe thats what I wanted. Maybe I wanted time to pass by slower. Or maybe I just wanted time to stop completely. But... what I really wanted was for time to start going backwards. Back to the day I didnt swallow those pills. Back to the day where I chose to live.

Becausw right now, and every other moment of my life. I want to die. I cant do this anymore.

"Ask your father..."

Those words haunted me. Its been almost a year. And I've never talked about that day with anyone but the police. My mom skipped out when I was five, and well my father was dead.

How could I ask my father when I hadn't seen him since I was fifteen?

I live alone so there's no one to call if I need help. None of my family talks to me since that day. They're scared of me. They act like its my fault. Like I asked for it. But who asks to be buried alive? Who asks to be kidnapped? Who asks to not be found for four days?