Should Have Not Asked - New Adult Romance (Wattys 2014)

Chapter 24 - Not An Illusion

Not even the warm chicken broth and mac and cheese could ease the growing tension in the dining room. We're having dinner, and Mom and Dad's bright faces turned dull and gloomy after I've told them about graduation.

I told them about missing the research defense and Haynes new project with Etheridge save for the part where Haynes tried to sexually assault me. I also set aside the details about Damien constantly irking me, and most especially, the part where I made the greatest mistake of my life. My parents shouldn't know about that craziness. If they learn even a tiny part of it, I'm pretty sure I'll be more than damned.

The eerie silence makes my heart weary. I know I have severely disappointed them. And with the looks on their faces, I just know this won't pass quickly.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Mom asks, burying her face in her palms.

"I was afraid I'd disappoint you." I tell them it was my lack of motivation to work diligently on the research that caused me this fate. "I didn't want to worry you both... Dad, you of all people, when you were in your most critical condition."

"This is my fault," Dad whispers. "This is my fault."

Mom stands from her seat, walks to Dad's direction, and wraps her arms around him.

It can never be Dad's fault, I thought. My heart starts to bleed as I watch him control the tears from falling from his eyes. I know how much he is trying to fight frustration, and what pains me the most is to see him take all the blame for himself.

He continues, "I should have taken good care of myself. If none of these happened, Sarah, our daughter won't need those extra shifts at work. She wouldn't have to work day and night for me." His tears are no longer controllable, they freely escape his swollen eyes. "I am the head of the family. I am supposed to be the one providing you with everything." He turns to me. "It's my job to see you finish school. In that part, I fail greatly. I am useless. This is all my fault."

"Hush, George!" Mom lightly taps Dad's back, embracing him warmly. Her lips form a thin line. Even if she doesn't say anything, I know she, too, is suppressing tears.

"Mom, Dad..." I speak, "please don't be hard on yourselves. It's not your fault." Divulging the truth about Damien and the bargain slowly creeps at the tip of my tongue. One word about it, and I know I'd free them from the burden their inflicting onto themselves.

However, if I tell them, they'd worry more about me. In this situation, I can only perceive myself as the villain. I lie to them with the intention of not hurting them, yet I fail in that part. Even if I tell the truth, there's no guarantee my parents will be freed from the pain.

Just in what kind of a situation am I in?

Waiting for sleep to knock on my door, I toss myself on the bed and turn to my sides. It is very quiet, yet I doubt if my parents are asleep. After telling them about graduation, I don't think they could easily fall asleep. It's their daughter's future at stake here.

Before I went to my room, I saw Mom crying while washing the dishes. Dad was on the couch, resting his hand on his face, perhaps trying to figure out where he went wrong raising me. They didn't speak to me before I went upstairs. I have no idea what upsets them, the part where I lied to them about graduating this year or the truth that I won't be marching up the stage on graduation day?

I reach for my phone on the nightstand and quickly dial Marie's number.

"Hey, do you have someone to fill in your shift tonight?" I ask. Marie's a co-worker at Maxwell's.