Loved the plotline! Good job on that part. I love how Robert and Chasity act around one another!
Some of your word choices does not seem very realistic for the time Game of Thrones is set in. For example: mom, dad, and kids. I'd suggest changing them to Mother, Father, and Children, so it fits better within the time period.
Another suggestion is when there's a new Character speaking, start a new paragraph. That way it will flow much more easily than the big blocks of texts.
As my language arts teacher taught me in 7th grade always start a new paragraph when one of these changes:
Time Setting Speaker
An article on Pinterest helped me a bit with conventions, as well:
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Other than that, it was really good! I can't wait to read more! -Jay
