Living wanted lies

Living wanted lies: part2

Anakin's pov:

I came back minutes later with a plate full of bacon and scrambled eggs. She sat up and took it thankfully. She ate a bit from it, but I knew she wasn't hungry. As she just starred at the plate I took it away from her. "It's okay.", I told her and she looked in my eyes. Her normally beautiful deep blue eyes were swollen red from crying and she looked hurt. I sighed and put my hand on her arm. She looked down at it, but didn't move. "Do you feel any better?", I asked her. "Yea, I do.", she answered way too fast and I knew it was a complete lie. "I'm sorry for your lost, Ahsoka.", I told her and she nodded. We sat there in silence and after a while she asked me "May I get some time for myself?" "Of course.", I answered and left the room. I had to head to a meeting anyway. Obi-Wan, my old master, was already in the commando central and as he saw me he looked at me questioning. He wanted to know where Ahsoka was, but I wasn't in the mood for explaining, so I just throw a don't-ask-look at him and he kept quiet. Soon after me a few other Jedi came in too. We started the meeting, but my thoughts were by Ahsoka the whole time. After one and a half hour this stupid meeting finally ended and I could go back to Ahsoka.

In our room I stood in the door to my bedroom where Ahsoka sat still on my bed. Her back turned to me she had her eyes closed. I stood there for a bit and just watched her. After a few minutes I decided to let her alone. I was about to go away and had already turned around as she spoke. "I try to forget them, you know? I mean, I haven't seen them the last fifteen years, I haven't even thought of them, but yesterday night it hid me like you're thrown in front of a ship. Shouldn't it be easier? Why do I feel this now? I've lived here the past fifteen years, they should be strangers by now." I sighed, walked to her and sit down next to her. "It isn't that easy, Ahsoka." "I've noticed that by now. Thanks for your help.", she replied sarcastically. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. She looked at me and this time it was me who starred at the wall while speaking. "You can't forget them easily. Even though you haven't seen them the last fifteen years they are still your family. They love you and you love them. Before you came into the temple you were really close to them and this bound doesn't break easily. It still exist after all this years.", I explained her and she looked down to the ground. She let the words, I just said, sink in. "I just want it to end.", she said after some moments. "I know.", was all I answered her. It was all I could answer her. "What should I do now?", she asked helpless. "I don't know, Ahsoka. Only you can know what you will do now. Do you want to go to their funeral?", I asked her and she thought about it for a moment. "No", she then answered "No, I don't need to go to their funeral. I don't know them anymore. People change. They changed. It will be okay. I will be okay.", she said more talking to herself than to me. I just nodded not wanting to say anything.