I Don't Have a Choice, But I'd Still Choose You || A Rierra Fanfic

Chapter 25

Ramin heard Sierra slip in under the covers and felt that it was okay to turn around. She laid with the blanket up to her chin and looked with her beautiful green eyes glued to his body. Feeling very aware of his body he quickly switched the light off and jumped into the bed. He didn't mind turning on the lamp on the night stand table because they would sleep anyways, so that wouldn't be necessary.

- Good night Sie; he whispered.

- Night Ramin; she whispered back.

Slowly the outlines of her body were visible, and he wanted to hold her in his arms so badly. Not wanting to risk anything he turned around in the bad to face the cupboard. His heart raced in his chest and he couldn't do anything to slow it down. He was sleeping in the same bed as Sierra! This didn't feel real, was she really there? The bed moved a little when she turned around which confirmed that she actually laid beside him. It was less than 10 inches between them but for him it felt like several feet. Thoughts swirled through his head which kept him awake. Did she like him? Did she not? Not knowing what to do he turned a little. Whatever he did he could not stop feeling her presence. Twisting once again he thought that she maybe was asleep now, but he felt that she also twisted and turned. She did certainly not like him, otherwise she would be sleeping. Why did love have to be so hard? Sure, she had looked at him and agreed to sleep in the same bed as him, but that could equally mean that they only were friends. All these thoughts confused him and that combined with the knowledge that Sierra was so close but that he couldn't have her made him lay wide awake.

He felt that Sierra laid awake too, she twisted and turned as much as he did. Why though? Suddenly he felt Sierra's back press against his and his heart stopped. She quickly moved back again, and he drew a long and deep breath. Just that little touch affected him so much and it made him want her even more. Why did she draw back? This was another reason that she didn't like him, and it hurt him even more to think about it. He turned around again, but what he didn't know was that she laid close to him, so his arm landed around her waist and they spooned. How could the heart both race and stop at the same time? Panic built in his chest and he fought the urge to draw away. He wanted to see her reaction to it. Would she say anything or not? And it would also be very weird if he just drew away when he happened to spoon her. The feeling of her body made him feel both calm and excited. Trying to calm his nerves he inhaled the scent of Sierra and closed his eyes.

Sierra:

Knowing that Ramin laid less than a meter away from her made her very nervous. She didn't know if he really wanted to share bed with her or if he just felt like he needed to because he had asked her to stay. To be honest he didn't look very happy when he told her that he didn't have an extra bed. That made her in one way sad because it meant that he didn't like her. But she didn't want to go home and at first it felt like he too, didn't want her to go so she agreed on sharing bed with him. Once in a while she felt Ramin twist and turn, and with each twist her heart sank more and more. If he couldn't sleep it meant that he didn't like her being there. Even if his presence made her nervous she liked knowing that he was close. The only thing she wanted to do now was to move closer to him and to snuggle up in his chest. To feel his strong arms safe around her body and to feel his bare skin underneath her hands.

All her thoughts, longings and of course Ramin himself, kept her awake. Even if she shut her eyes as tight as she possibly could and tried to relax she couldn't sleep. Her body ached for Ramin's body and she couldn't do anything about it. She tried to turn around, lay on one side and on the other but nothing worked. Suddenly as she turned once again her back hit Ramin's and her heart stopped. In panic she moved away again and tried to act as if nothing had happened. Did he notice it? He probably felt her bumping into him and most likely was mad at her. She didn't know why, but it was the only thing she could think about, even if it was very illogical.

She felt Ramin's arm grab around her waist. Her heart stopped, and she couldn't breathe. What just happened? She took some short, jagged breaths as a try to calm down. Was this really happening? Knowing that if she breathed with her stomach he would feel it she breathed heavily with her chest. This was too good to be true, she spooned with Ramin. SPOONING with RAMIN! The thought made her want to turn around and kiss him but then once again, they were only friends and nothing more. Slowly but steadily panic formed inside her chest, she was spooning with her best friend, AND the one she was in love with. What was she supposed to do? It was the best and the worst moment in her life. Could a person really feel all these contrarious feelings at the same time? At the same time as she wanted to kiss him she wanted to draw away. The thing she feared the most was whether he was aware of this or not. Because if he knew what he was doing, did it mean something then? No, of course not. Why would he like her? No, he was probably sleeping and thinking that she was Mandy or something.

Slowly she started to calm down and starting to breath properly. She breathed in the smell of Ramin and tried to focus on that, and that only. However, it was quite hard focusing on anything, but his body pressed against her. He laid unnaturally still behind her for some time, then (and because of this she almost fainted) he kissed her on the top of her head and whispered good night. It was as if he knew that she laid wide awake and wanted to make her panic less. Surprisingly, it worked very good because slowly her eyelids became heavier and heavier. The last thought on her mind was the fact that his lips were still touching the top of her head and that his arm held her much tighter than it did before in a still very comfortable and safe way.