anxiety // tony stark.

anxiety attack.

tony was at his breaking point.

he just wanted to be in his lab, engineering and tinkering with things so he could push the rising stress levels to the back of his mind. he hated when people witnessed his feelings. however, he was currently with dr. stephen strange working on a project for the avengers.

tony tensed his forearm muscles to prevent his hands from shaking as he nodded along to what stephen was saying. he was floating in and out of reality, so he actually couldn't hear some of what he said, but tony didn't want to be rude. he also didn't want stephen to know he was about to have a mental breakdown.

tony was having a rough day. he had constant reminders all day about afghanastan and the battle of new york. his ptsd was playing tricks with him, little snipets of flashbacks quickly displaying in his mind and then retreating back. he heard voices fade in and out.

tony didn't realize he had spaced out until stephen put a hand on his shoulder. he snapped out of it to see stephen looking down at him (the man was a bit taller than him) with concern etched into his rough features. at the contact of stephen's hand on his shoulder, tony flinched very noticeably.

"are you alright?" stephen asked.

it wasn't like stephen was tony's best friend. they had missions together and they talked, but it wasn't like tony was okay with spilling his secrets to the man. tony hardly ever spoke about his feelings to anyone, not even pepper. however, tony's mind was going into overdrive. he felt himself slipping into an attack. he was trying to hold it off, but he knew the inevitable was having an attack. he just prayed it wouldn't be in front of another person.

tony nodded stiffly. stephen raised his eyebrows in disbelief, but didn't push the topic. they proceeded to work on the project at hand, which was mostly stephen doing it and tony pretended to focus.

tony heard some things stephen said, but not other things. he drifted in and out of his mind and reality.

"..and so i asked him, hey.. wait, tony? tony, are you okay?.." stephen asked.

tony had a death grip on the table in front of him. his face was a ghostly pale and his eyes seemed to dart so rapidly he was observing the entire room as fast as he could. even with the tight grip, his fingers trembled as he shook his legs under the table.

nobody really knew, but stephen suffered from ptsd. when he came to bargain to save the earth, he died so many times and in countless ways. he had felt pain in ways nobody else had. he witnessed death over and over. often times he woke up from night terrors in sheer pain and fear. stephen recognizes that tony was off and he had an idea of what was going on.

in tony's head, the flashbacks all pulled together.  he quickly dropped out of his chair and into the floor to avoid the dozens of bullets he was sure were flying at him. he could hear people screaming and voices he couldn't block out. his body trembled and he screamed. he couldn't shake off the feeling that he was under attack. he was stuck in his own mind, he wasn't aware of his actual surroundings anymore.

stephen fell to the floor next to him. he got on his knees and put his arms around tony's shoulders from behind him.

"tony, you're safe. you are in headquarters. nobody is going to hurt you here. you're safe. i have you. you aren't going anywhere, you are safe." stephen said right next to his ear. he continued repeating the same sentences like a broken record. he knew tony could only hear parts of it if any, so he just continued holding tony tightly and mumbling the same words of sincerity.

tony was hyperventilating now. his entire body spasmed as he screamed and tried to fight stephen off of him, convinced he was an afghanastan terrorist. stephen refused to let go of him, tightening his grip and assuring it was only stephen and that he would never inflict pain upon him.

this proceeded for a solid fifteen minutes. the body can only go into such a state of panic for a maximum of roughly twenty minutes. tony slowly regained his awareness and extremities.

"..you're not going anywhere. you're safe, i won't.. nobody is going to hurt you.." he heard stephen's voice.

tony realized that he had just had an attack in front of his teammate. the realization struck him and he put his head in his hands in embarrassment.

"hey, tony, it's okay. i won't tell anyone this even happened. it's okay to have feelings. it's okay to have someone to help you. you don't need to do this alone, tony." stephen muttered softly. tony's body seemed to completely loosen and he fell into stephen. he sobbed into his friend and co-workers chest. stephen rubbed circles on his back and did not protest. he knew tony refused to open up to anyone and he really needed to get this out. therefore, he just held tony and let him get it away from his system. he knew tony would totally hate him for this later and he really embarrassed, but tony had to realize he had people here to help him.