DAYTIME SHOOTING STAR

where will we go

i know. i know. one day you will be going to college. in a grand uc. where they're smart like you. nice like you. organized like you. you will be a doctor, if you really try. (i know you can.) i know from there you will have a family. a son. a daughter. (you promised her middle name to me.) i know. i know. i know you will have a lovely wife. one who is like tea leaves in a pot of jade. calm. sweet. beautiful. not too much for you.

i know. i know i should just cherish the now before you're gone. the little thumb wrestling contests. the little jokes. the little compliments we give each other because we're supportive and nothing more. you will continue to root for me as you always have, and i will love you and hate you for it. i know. i know. i am too scared to show you how i feel. i am. i do not plan to hand you this book until we graduate.

but i just. sometimes i like to pretend. pretend that you're going to stay with me even if you're not physically with me. i lay in my bed and pretend to remember things that have not happened like. waking up to you. harry potter marathons. eating spring rolls. hand holding at the aquarium if i dare. maybe just the aquarium. i love aquariums.

i know i know. it will never happen but do me a favor.  and just imagine it for me. dream about it. then whisk it away like unwanted fog if you must. one day i will let go of these pretend memories and i will smile. i will smile because i will know you've wondered about me too. and we will laugh. together. apart. we will.