It has been just over 10 months since he has died and I still miss him. I don't think I will stop missing him, I still can't believe he is gone. Sometimes when I'm alone in the house I can make myself believe that he is in the other room playing with my son, our son, the son he never knew I had and will never get to meet. It's hard without him here with me. I had no one else in my life before him and now that he is gone I don't know what to do. I can't look after a child by myself! What am I supposed to tell his son when he is older? How am I going to explain why he doesn't have a father? The wind starts blowing my unkempt brown hair and I make no effort to fix it up. I've been walking for ages now along the beach in district 4; I couldn't stay in the house any longer. I finally reach the sport where Finnick and I used to meet in secret. We couldn't let Snow or the capitol know about our love for each other. We used to come here a lot together and spend our afternoons watching the sun rise together. I remember one time Finnick thought it would be fun to spend the night here together. So we stayed and watched the stars together until we both fell asleep. We were woken up by the rain as it started to pour. We both had to run back to my house and by the time we got there we were both soaking wet. I went to grab us some towels to dry off and when I came back Finnick was kneeling on one knee with a ring in his hand. That was when he asked me to marry him. Of course I said yes but I knew deep down that we could never actually get married, not with Snow watching us all the time. That was the second happiest moments of my life, the first obviously being when I married him. Unfortunately the saddest and worst day of my life was followed shortly after that, the day Finnick died. That is what has brought me to this spot, I don't know what I was expecting to find here. This spot used to bring me so much happiness but now it just feels lonely and depressing. I finally let my tears fall; I've been holding them in for so long. I just can't do it anymore. I give up; I have nothing to live for without Finnick. I curl up into a ball and start crying even harder. Maybe if I just lay here no one will notice I'm gone.
"Annie." I hear the familiar voice say.
"Fi-finnick? Is that you?" I sit up quickly and see him standing in front of me. I quickly get up and rush over into his arms. "I've missed you so much." I say still crying. I look up at Finnick and see that he has a sad look on his face.
"I know." Is all he replies. I don't know what else to say. I'm too shocked to say or do anything else. "You have to go back to the house Annie." He finally says.
"Only if you come back with me." I whisper. Finnick pulls me closer to him and puts a piece of my hair which has fallen down back behind my ear.
"I can't come back." He says and I pull back away from his embrace.
"What do you mean you can't come? You have to come with me. I need you."
"You have to go back alone." Finnick say quietly. No he can't leave me again.
"I can't, I just can't do it by myself. I've missed you so much Finnick. You don't know how hard it is without you. I just can't, I won't go back without you. I have nothing else to live for without you." I whisper the last part so quietly that I don't think he heard me.
"You do have things to live for Annie." I start shaking my head in protest. "You have friends who will miss you." He says. Again I shake my head.
"They won't miss me." I say. They have other things to worry about; if I disappear they won't notice.
"Yes they will Annie." Finnick says. "You have to go back to our son and you have to go back for me. I hate seeing you like this. Please for me live your life and try to be happy. Please promise me you will try."
"I promise I will try but I can't be happy without you. I love you Finnick."
"I love you to." He pulls me towards him and kisses me. I kiss him back and grab onto him not planning on letting go. The kiss ends sooner than I would like it to and we both just stay close to each other. "I know it's hard without me but you have to be strong. It will get easier and once our son is old enough he will be there for you. You will be a great mother Annie." He gives me another quick kiss and then steps away from me. "I will always love you and I will always be with you." Finnick says as disappears just as quickly as he came. I have the urge to yell out his name but I know he is gone. I feel something wet hit my toes and wake up. I'm confused for a second and then realise it was just a dream. Something though makes me believe it wasn't a dream, that I really did see Finnick again. This gives me the motivation to get up and run back to the house. I burst through my front door and run up stairs. I enter one of the bedrooms and find my little baby boy fast asleep. I don't want to disturb him so I quietly make my way over to his cot. Just by looking at him I can see that he will look just like his father. He will be just as funny as his father, but also as kind as well. I walk back out of the room and down the stairs. I decide at this moment that today is the day I will start living my life again; I will try and be happy. I will not break my promise to Finnick no matter what challenges I have to face because I know he will always be with me.
