Forbidden Parabatai | ✓

(8) The Lair

“Tessa can do amazing things. She can take the form of anyone.” Magnus added. He decided Tessa didn’t mind having this out in the open, since it concerns a Herondale.

“Oh really? Can you take the form of Zachary?” Laressa asked cheekily.

Chantelle looked at her warningly. “There’s something evil to it, isn’t it? Like it will be painful or something?” The question was directed at Tessa.

“Close. How do you know?”

“Just a guess. Ares taught me everything good in this world will have something bad to it. To balance out this damned world.”

Tessa’s smile turned to brief shock. “A lesson I taught James and Lucie myself.” Chantelle guessed those were her children. It was awkward, having someone young have children. Her children would be Shadowhunters, and Shadowhunters aren’t immortal, unlike warlocks. Her children would surpass her age, and Chantelle thought it would be horrible. She hated the idea of being immortal, sometimes pitying Downworlders for that, though most found it beneficial.

Magnus cleared his throat. “Shall we?”

They got to searching for information, on books and scribes. But Chantelle strongly doubted information would be on books in her library, since she managed the place herself. Chantelle was burying her nose in a book when she bumped into Tessa.

‘I’m sorry. Let me get that.” She said, reaching for the book Tessa dropped, but Tessa picked it up herself.

“It’s fine.” Tessa smiled, and Chantelle studied her unexpectedly. “Anything to ask?” She questioned, and Chantelle immediately regretted doing that.

“Urm… just curious about warlocks.”

“It’s okay. Don’t look sorry that you’re curious.” Tessa said, recognizing Chantelle’s look again. Man, she’s good at this. Chantelle thought, wishing Ares was here to kill this awkward moment. But he always killed awkward moments with snarky comments, so perhaps that wasn’t such a great idea. Chantelle found herself wanting to be on good terms with Tessa, warlock or not, considering she seemed kind.

“Urm… How long have you lived?” It wasn’t Chantelle’s plan to ask such a question.

“I’ve been around since the reign of Queen Victoria.”

“Wow.” Chantelle breathed. That was an awful long time. “Do you enjoy being immortal?”

Tessa frowned, but not because she was offended. “Frankly, not really. Someone once told me about a wheel, where you’d enter your next life and the ones after that, and I wish to move on. He has moved on, and I want to, too.” Her look was filled with love, and Chantelle assumed she was talking about the Herondale she knew.

“Is it really painful having him and all your loved ones leave?”

“Of course, but sometimes you do things, trying to numb the pain, but the emptiness is always there. Sometimes I’m afraid to make friends, enter the world outside the warlocks, for I have to watch them all leave. You’re a Carstairs, right?”

Chantelle nodded.

“The man, the one I heard about the wheel from, he’s a Carstairs too.”

“Oh. I assumed—“

“That I was talking about a Herondale?” She looked away for a little. “Love is a wild creature. It plays tricks on all of us, and it’s hard to say. Sometimes saying ‘I love you’ isn’t even appropriate. Maybe it’s just playing with us, taking us all for fools.”