The Distance Between Us

Track Twenty Five - Daughters

So, yes, Shilpa had loving parents, a nice family, but in the little time she'd spent in Mumbai, she knew that Riddhima's family was far more loving than hers had ever been. And, she wanted to be a part of that. Desperately. She just hoped it would happen. That they wouldn't blame her for anything, but would give her a place in their family, no matter how small.

"Yes, Shilpa? What do you want to say? Don't hesitate. It's okay. You can tell me anything," Riddhima assured Shilpa again, bringing her out of her thoughts.

Riddhima was very interested in knowing what Shilpa had to say. Their relationship hadn't been the best, ever since Shilpa had come to Sanjeevani. They'd gotten off on the wrong foot, with Riddhima always misunderstanding Shilpa at every turn.

It was later that Riddhima had realized how unfair she'd been to Shilpa. It was the fact that Shilpa was a lot like Armaan in so many ways. Her mannerisms, her attitude - all of it reminded Riddhima of a 23 year old Armaan who'd swooped into her life, unannounced and then changed it forever.

She was constantly running away from the ghost of a past that she knew would never leave her alone, but she was too stubborn to admit it. Even to herself. So, she would shout at Shilpa for the smallest things, because all of it would remind her of Armaan and the time they'd spent together, the memories they'd shared.

And then, it happened. Shilpa fell for Armaan. Riddhima had had her doubts from the beginning. The way the two of them fought over everything had been a clear indicator of a budding relationship. Hadn't her relationship with Armaan started the same way? They fought about everything and then, when it all turned to love, she never even realized.

And, it was happening all over again. Right in front of her eyes. She could see Shilpa fall for Armaan. But, what scared her more was what if Armaan fell for her too. Yes, she knew she was the biggest hypocrite in the world. She herself wasmarried but the thought of Armaan in a mere relationship with someone else sent fire through her body. She tried to justify her actions by saying that the difference was that her marriage to Sid was but a responsibility for her that she had to shoulder for the rest of her life, but that if Armaan fell for Shilpa, it wouldn't be a responsibility for him. It would mean that he'd moved on. That he'd forgotten about Riddhima. And she couldn't have that. She couldn't have Armaan loving someone else because she wanted Armaan to love only her. Forever. Just like he'd promised. Because, she knew, she would only love him, even if she was married.

But, the possibility of Armaan falling for Shilpa was increasing by the day. She'd seen it in his eyes. The spark he'd been missing for so long. The spark that she'd seen die, when she'd told him that she was already married, that they couldn't be together again. She'd seen the light leave Armaan's eyes that day. And, she'd never seen it again. Till, Shilpa came to Sanjeevani. Fighting and arguing with her made Armaan happy. She could see it. That's what scared her. Shilpa had been able to give him, what Riddhima had snatched from him so cruelly. Happiness, no matter how fleeting or short lived.

Seeing Armaan with her made Riddhima burn in jealousy. So, she'd gotten even worse with Shilpa. She'd taunt her, shout at her for even the most minute things. She'd started expecting immaculate perfection from Shilpa. Anything less was unacceptable. She told herself it was because she wanted Shilpa to be a good doctor, that the new girl in Armaan's life had to be perfect so that he could be happy, but she'd only been lying to herself. She was only doing these things out of frustration and jealousy. That was it.

But, none of it was Shilpa's fault. Was it her fault that her mannerisms reminded Riddhima of Armaan? Was it her fault that Armaan liked arguing with her? Was it her fault that Armaan enjoyed her company? No. None of it was her fault. It had all been Riddhima's. And, she'd punished someone else for her shortcomings.