GIRLS LIKE GIRLS

chapter twenty-six.

"we don't always get what we want, cass." then danny walked out of the door, leaving it open. cass groaned, and pulled herself into a sitting position.

slowly, she walked to the bathroom and brushed her teeth, then pulled her hair into a messy bun. she pursed her lips and stared into the mirror. she took in her pale and sunken cheeks, her chapped and bitten lips, and her swollen eyes. she swallowed and pulled her eyes away from the mirror, then backed out of the bathroom. as she walked towards her room she heard a knock on her door, but ignored it. she knew danny would get it anyway.

the brunette lowered herself onto her bed, her head pounding from the lack of food and water. she hadn't eaten in four days. her body felt sore and weaker, but the pain in her belly had lessened to a dull ache.

she pulled up her sweatshirt sleeve and looked at all of the bandaids covering her fresh cuts. she had done them in the shower, mainly because she didn't want her aunt to walk in and see her doing it, but also because the sting of the water hitting her cuts somewhat satisfied her.

"what happened to your arm?" stan asked, fake confusion lacing is voice. cass jumped and pulled her sleeve down, looking up at him.

"i think you know, stanny."

"yeah, yeah i do." his voice cracked mid sentence but cass didn't comment on it.  she only let tears fall from her eyes.

she seemed to be crying a lot lately.

'stop your tears, cassie. you look like a fool.' her mother would have said.

stan slowly approached her, and she made grabby hands towards him. he pulled her in for a hug, ignoring his own pain.

"d-did danny tell y-you?" she sobbed, and stan shook his head.

"tell me what?"

"my, uh, my mom. she broke out of jail. when she was driving away she lost control. she drove off of the bridge she was driving on. she's, she's," cass took in a deep breath, "she's dead. she died the night me and you, ya know." stan coughed awkwardly.

"cass, i'm, i'm so sorry. you don't deserve any of the shit you go through." cass only nodded, and stan looked down at her. "listen, i came here, to talk to you about what you said, and what i said, and do you-"

"i remember what you told me stan."

"fuck," he muttered.

"it's okay, i don't mind."

"well i mind!" stan burst out, and pushed cass off of him. "i can't keep being your friend if you don't feel the same. it hurts me too much." he stood up and ran his hand through his messy hair.

"you said it yourself. i'm in love with bev. you should have known." stans heart broke a little at the sound of cass' emotionless words.

"well i did know. but i didn't care. and i'm sorry about your mom, and about bev, but i can't keep doing this."

"i respect that."

"i have to go," stan breathed out, realizing cass wasn't herself. if she was herself at the moment she wouldn't just let him go. she'd make him talk to her.

"i can't stop you," she answered. cass laid back on her bed, and stan left without a word. danny watched him silently from the living room, and sat there staring at the door long after stan had rushed out.

BEVERLY WASN'T DOING MUCH better than cass was. she had barely spoken to her father over the past week and a half, and had spent most of her time with bill.

together, they forgot about cass and stan. they talked about anything but the two.

on the same morning stan visited cass, bev and bill sat in the park, trying to figure out a way to defeat It.

"w-we could muh-maybe just-" bill cut himself off, looking towards bev. she was staring off into space, clearly not listening. "b-bev?" she snapped her head towards him, startled.

"sorry, bill. what were you saying?" bev shook off the thoughts of a certain brunette and smiled at bill forcefully.

"it doesn't muh-matter. what are you th-thinking about?" bill folded his hands in his lap, and lowered his eyebrows at the red haired girl sitting in front of him.

"cass," bev sighed, laying down onto her stomach in the grass. she put her cheek onto her hand and sighed. bill stared at her intently, shaking his head.

"w-well you need to st-stop thinking ab-about her." bill stood up and grabbed his backpack, and held his hand out for bev to take it. she pulled herself to her knees and grabbed his hand before pulling herself all the way up. she grabbed her backpack off the ground, and together the two walked hand in hand towards derrys diner.

TO PEOPLE AROUND BEV AND BILL, they looked like a young couple walking down the streets of derry like any other normal teens. but other people were wrong. these two were both pining after someone of the same gender, but no one else could have a way of knowing that, for their body language said they were together. the intertwined fingers, the smiles, and the shoulder bumping.

but their eyes, the utter pain and sadness their eyes held, the blankness their orbs held when they looked st eachother, that showed they weren't together together.

they were merely just there. two teens who went through shit they shouldn't go through. two teens that have experienced more heartbreak than almost everyone else in that god forsaken town.

but no one in the town of derry had the decency to notice.

•••

the ending is a bit confusing sorry.

theres only a few chapters left!! buckle your seatbelts because the last few are going to be CRAZY