Disclaimer: This is a writing from months ago before my current situation but I feel it exudes emotion and feelings so i decided to publish it. Enjoy :)
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its currently 2:04am and i have to be up in 8 hours to get ready for work, but as i lay here i cant sleep, I can't seem to just pass out, my mind is racing with so many thoughts and you'd think lol wow schools out you should just be focusing on summee vaca and what not but this thought just aches in my mind that people I saw pretty much everyday some since freshman year will basically cease to exist except behind a screen. and for the near two weeks ive tried taking my mind off of it by playing games or working but nothing beats these thoughts before bed and you can't avoid em. Im not anyones first choice so for me to get invited to go hangout or even eat is something I don't so much expect as i wish i could. I don't have a car of my own so its not really like i can go see people myself plus with working my schedule is already kinda crammed but on my days off like I had on Sunday i just sat at home all day, I wanted to do something I wanted to go hang out with the squad or go on a date or something but its like everyone talks about yeah we'll hang out TOTALLY but really if you don't say anything about it they'll just forget about it and if you don't say anything they'll forget you exist. and maybe thats one of my biggest fears is that ill be forgotten. people i considered close and what not would just up and disregard me. this all probably sounds stupid or like im lowkey begging for someone to hangout but im just venting im letting out thoughts and shit anyways imma just sleep ~ peace
