You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison (Frerard)

Two

I walk into the interrogation room and sit in the grey chair that's positioned in the middle of the room. It's a small room and the walls are blank besides a mirror to my right. The chair is hard and uncomfortable and I just want to get out of here.

This whole situation is making me anxious, it's designed to obviously, but I honestly just want to cry. The police officer with the noticeably frizzy hair that had arrested me earlier walks into the room and sits on the other chair facing me.

"My name is Officer Ray." He says with a slight smile. He really should scare me, I should be intimidated by him. But I'm not, there's something about him, the way he speaks, it feels like he has some form of respect for me. Why should he? I'm a criminal, he's a cop, it's basically his job to hate me.

"Hi" I say, not quite knowing how to respond.

He looks me square in the face and says "Why did you do it?"

Well that was quick. "Do what?" I ask perhaps a bit too innocently.

"You know what I'm talking about, don't play dumb. The robberies." He says while leaning back until his chair was balancing on the back two legs.

"I had no choice" I say looking him in the eyes.

"Why?" He asks, staring back. Something makes me want to trust him, it's stupid, I know of course I can't, this is just an act.

He probably does this to all the people he interrogates, giving them a false sense of trust, just to get information.

"Why should I tell you?" I ask, feeling a little bit guilty for being difficult.

"Because," he says, "I want to help you. Honestly. You're so young, I don't want you to have to live the rest of your life like you were. You could do so much better. Please just tell me why you would become a robber, I know you're a smart kid, you must have been to pull all that off for so long without getting caught."

Damn it, he's so sincere, I don't even care if he is lying, I just want to talk to someone. "My parents, well, they're not around and," shit, I couldn't mention Mikey, "Uh, and, I needed food and stuff to survive. There was no other way." That's all I'm telling him.

Ray nods. He has a sad look on his face as he asks me "What about Michael? We have records of you having a brother."

Fuck, what the hell do I do now. "Uh, yeah he died. Ages ago" I say, hopefully with a convincing frown.

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that Gerard. It's so sad, you've been through so much already, and you're so young." Ray mutters looking down at his hands.

I'm twenty two, not that young. But still, to Ray I guess I probably am, he looks like he's in his late twenties.

"What are they going to do to me?" I wonder out loud, all of a sudden desperate to know.

"Your punishment?" He asks. I nod.

"I'm not certain, but you're looking at about 10 years in prison. That crime-spree did last 5 years, with, to the best of my knowledge, over 200 armed robberies reported." He lets out a sigh. "You are more than smart, your a fucking genius aren't you? I'd never be able to do that."

Ten years! TEN YEARS! I can't do that! What about Mikey! He can't look after himself for that long! He's only fifteen years old for fucks sake! What's he going to do? Oh god this is terrible, I regret everything. Why am I such a fucking idiot, this is all my fault.

I feel a tear roll down my cheek and try to wipe it away before Ray sees. Too late, he looks at me, frowning. He stands up, helps me to my feet and then gives me a hug. I tense up. I can't handle physical contact. No no no no no I don't like this. I push him away. He looks at me, puzzled.

"Sorry," I murmur. "Don't like people touching me."

"Oh, sorry," he says.

"Don't be sorry, it's my fault." I put out my hand and after he looks at it for a second he shakes it.

Much better.

---

I've been waiting in this cell at the police station for a few days. My court case should be today. I would have expected it to take ages, but apparently they somehow got it together sooner.

I guess there wasn't any 'guilty or not guilty" stuff. They caught me red-handed. There was no point in saying I didn't do the crimes, because I did, and there's no way they'd believe me if I denied it.

Being all alone in this cell had given me time to think. I realized that I have literally nothing to lose besides Mikey. Nothing else really matters to me. His life is a thousand times more valuable than mine and all I care about is being there to look after him. If I'm in jail, I can't. Since I have nothing to lose, I might as well try and escape. Obviously it won't be easy, but I really don't have a choice, so I'll just have to figure down way out.

---

10 years for 200 plus accounts of armed robbery with parole after 3. Ray had been right. I was going to serve my sentence at New Jersey State Prison in the general population. I don't really care. I'll be out of there soon enough.