I Don't Have a Choice, But I'd Still Choose You || A Rierra Fanfic

Chapter 7

- So, what did you wanna talk about? she asked.

- Ummm, it's hard to tell you, but...; he let out a sigh. I've realized during these last weeks, or actually months, that I don't have the same feelings for you as I had when we married.

Ramin did not knew if he had said it too fast, if he was supposed to start with something else. But somehow it felt like it was better to just get it out. He felt horrible, he didn't know that this would hurt this much. Even if he didn't love her anymore he had been married to her a little over 17 years. The love they had shared was gone but Ramin still cared about her, like any responsible person would. Like a friend.

- This is exactly what I wanted to talk to you about too. I... I have noticed that you don't love me anymore. Not only now, it has been for a while and, I kind of feel the same thing. I don't love you the way I did before; Mandy said.

Luckily Amanda did not seem that uncomfortable, not shifting position or turning in her chair. It would be very hard for Ramin if that would have been the case. Mandy did not look sad, but not happy either. Ramin scanned her face, it was hard to tell what she was thinking but something plopped in his head. Was she relieved?

- Okey, well then; he said, knowing this situation was very awkward. Was that it, or?

There was an awkward silence, but both knew what was coming. He had thought of it for some time and they both knew it was the right thing to do. Still, no one dared to speak up and ask about it.

- Should we get a divorce?

- I think that is the best option; Ramin said feeling relieved that he didn't have to bring it up. But the kids?

- We can solve that later. Now, when this is cleared and I'm tired, so then I sleep in the sofa and you take the bed?

- No, you take the bed, I take the sofa. I can't let you sleep on the sofa, you're still kind of a guest; he smiled.

- You have always been such a gentleman; she smiled back and went out of the room.

Oddly, Ramin felt good, very sad, but good. It felt great that Mandy took it so good. But of course, that's why he fell in love with her in the first place. It felt like he had made a good decision which was very satisfying.

Approximately a week after they were officially divorced, and they had half custody of the boys. It was a short and not very public divorce which was good for everyone. Since they were still friends they had already decided everything about the divorce, so they only had to fill out some papers and didn't have to go to court. His family had now gone back to London so the boys to go to school there so now he was sitting at home thinking of what to do. He wanted to talk to someone, but he didn't know who. After two minutes his phone started ringing like someone had read his thoughts;

- Uh, hello? He said.

- Hi Ramin! A female voice he knew very well said.

- Sie! He exclaimed.

- I... I heard about... uhhh, I don't know how to say this, but I heard about the divorce. H-how are you?

When she asked he just felt how all feelings came to him. You know that feeling when you are sad but don't cry? However, when someone asks how you feel you just start crying? That was how he felt. He and Mandy were no longer a couple and would never be again. It was hard to understand that it actually was over. Tears started streaming down his face and he let out sob.

- Ramin! I'm so sorry! Do you want me to come over?

- If you want to.

He felt grateful to have Sierra in his life. She knew exactly what to say and what to do.

Sierra:

Fifteen minutes later Sierra knocked on Ramin's door. She hadn't cared about changing from her sweat-pants and her oversized t-shirt. All she cared about now was to meet Ramin and to comfort him. The door opened, and a red and puffy eyed face looked out. However, even if he was all red eyed and looked like a wreck he somehow still was beautiful. Pushing that thought away she threw herself around his neck and held him tight.

- I'm terribly sorry Ramin, I truly am; she whispered in his ear.

She let go of him and he closed the door behind her. She took off her outdoor clothing and they went inside the living room sitting down in his sofa.

- Sie; he began. You don't have to be sorry. I'm not sad because Mandy and I are not a couple anymore, or, I am. But I don't love her anymore, and she doesn't love me, so it was only for the best. So, I don't even know why I'm crying.

- Okay; she said and looked at him. But you know Ramin, it's okay to be sad and cry sometimes.

She leaned over and hugged him. They sat like that for a long time, Ramin crying into her shoulder and Sierra stroking his back soothingly. When she loosened her grip of him, thinking that he probably didn't want to hug her anymore he held her even tighter and she quickly hugged him again. Feeling that it started to become a little uncomfortable she very nervously jumped up in his knee to not bend her body weirdly. Luckily, he didn't mind and just kept hugging her and she let herself breathe out.

After a long, deep talk, lots of tears from both, and of course some laughs later in the evening, it was time for Sierra to walk home. They stood up and she looked into his warm brown eyes and his handsome face. Thinking about what she just had thought she looked away, feeling her cheeks burning a little. Sierra Boggess, what are you even thinking about? This was not fair to Ramin.
They walked to the door and she put on her outdoor clothes again.

- Bye Sie, and thank you so much for coming; Ramin said and embraced Sierra in a warm hug.

- No problems, I am always here for you; she whispered back.

They let go of each other and she went home. It felt so good to hug him, why? And he's so beautiful, perhaps too beautiful? She didn't know what was wrong with her, but he made her feel happy and as if it was only him and her in the whole world. Trying to stop thinking of him she pressed play on some random Barbra Streisand song on Spotify and kept on walking home from Ramin's flat humming the melodies to herself as she walked in the misty streets.