A Love Like None Other

5

Swara stood outside the study, unable to bring herself to go inside. Her Baba had dropped her at the Maheshwari Mansion, without asking a single question and had actually been smiling to himself when he thought she was not watching him. Her mother had not even bothered to be discreet; she had hugged her daughter tight and had given a very proud look, as though Swara had accomplished the greatest thing possible. Ragini had refused to let her say a word of sorry and had simply hurried her along, insisting that she need not even change from her pyjamas. And when she had reached the Maheshwari Mansion, she found Sujju Aunty waiting for her at the entrance, who had assured her father that Sanskaar would drop Swara back in an hour's time. She was bemused by the fact that everyone seemed to know except herself and it hurt her.

It was Sujju Aunty who taken her to the study, given her a conspiratorial wink and whispered, "he is inside, go on. I can trust you, right, that you will not do anything to him?" before she disappeared to her room. If Swara had been in a better frame of mind, she would have sworn that Sujju Aunty had actually danced a part of the way to her room. She was hesitant and a trifle unsure as to how she could face Sanskaar and a part of her wanted to turn back. But she had hesitated a little too long to escape, as usual, Sanskaar had sensed her presence and had opened the doors wide.

Sanskaar stared at her, drinking in the sight of her, as he tried to understand what she was doing outside his study in the middle of the night. She was wearing her old flannel pajamas, a crumpled t-shirt, her hair was tousled, her face was tear stained and she was bleary eyed, but Sanskaar was sure he had never seen anyone more beautiful. She looked a mess and at times she was a mess also but he loved her all the same.

She did not say a word either; she kept looking at him as though she was seeing him after a long time. And in a way it was, after that birthday she had never even properly glanced at him. She saw a fleeting happiness in his eyes, he always lit up at her sight, before it changed to worry and he asked if she was alright. But Swara was not really listening to him; all she felt was the concern in his voice and the fear for her in his words. But even more powerful was what he did not say and yet was so apparent, the love that he had for her was singing to her. And finally, today she had found the music in her heart as it echoed to his.

Sanskaar had never seen her so silent and that had him worrying; he laid a hand on her shoulder and tried to shake her out of her pensiveness. At his touch, she threw herself so forcefully at him that he had to put an arm round her waist and hold the door frame with the other, while he tried to steady her.

"Hold me, do not say anything, just hold me tight and hold me forever. Do not let me go, even if I scream murder. Please, just hold me in your arms."

For once, for the first time in either of their lives, Sanskaar stood still, stunned and unable to do what she wanted. He, who would do anything for her, simply could not do what she was asking for; hold her, hold her tight and never let her go. He could, he wanted to but then he was not sure if Swara understood what forever meant. He could live out his life waiting for her, but once she came to his life, there was no way he could let her go and stay alive.

He gently pushed her to a shoulder's length and held her wrists, which was when he noticed the bangle on her arm. Her words had his hopes rising and the sight of that band on her arm caused a surge of burgeoning joy but he wanted her to be sure about what he thought she was trying to convey. He brushed his thumb across her wrist where that bangle rested and said thickly, "Do you even realize what you are saying?"

Swara looked at Sanskaar and slowly said, "When that truck came so close to hitting me, I thought I was going to die. At that moment you were the only one who was on my mind, I had no thoughts about anyone else, not of Maa-Baba, Ragini or anybody, only you. I could recall so many moments of my life; happy, sad, angry, tearful but every emotion, every event was linked to you. When I was at the hospital and everyone said I was lucky for emerging unscathed, I just wanted to call and tell you, not any of them. Even my emergency contact number is yours. I only wanted to see you, Sanskaar, not anybody else. There has never been any one in my life as you have been. All my life, every minute save a few, has had you in them. You are not a part of my life, Sanskaar, you are my life and I have been the stupidest person not to understand it till today."

She took a deep breath and looking into his incredulous eyes, confessed, "I love you, Sanskaar and I am sorry for being so dumb not to realize it earlier. I do not know how to make up for all the times I have hurt you or the angry words..."

Sanskaar had stopped hearing after Swara had said that she loved him, he had spent so many years yearning, wanting, dreaming, hoping against hope that she would one day say those words; say that she loved him and when she finally said it he could not register anything else that she was saying. 'If only she would stop talking,' he thought.

"You talk too much," he said and pulled her into a tight embrace that crushed her to him and left her breathless.

Swara snuggled even closer into his arms; this was where she was meant to be, she thought blissfully, though when she had heard him chastise her for talking a little too much, she had half expected him to kiss her silent. She had been disappointed that he did not, till she remembered how she had reacted all those years ago. She gave a soft sigh; 'he would never do anything he felt she might not like, but that was then and now that she had let him know that she loved him, he could,' she thought. And while she was not going to ask him, no way, that would be a little unlike her, she could not bring herself to kiss him either. She turned her face to him, lightly brushing his neck with her lips and caused him to quiver. She smiled, maybe, she did not have to ask him directly, she could hint it to him. She slowly pulled herself apart a few inches and still clinging to the collar of his shirt, said, "Sanskaar..."

"Mmm..."

"I want something."

That statement should have set off the warning bells in his head, he knew that she had never been the one to ask, she just said or took what she wanted and it was quite remarkable that she was asking for something. But Sanskaar was beyond caring, he had never dared hope to gain Swara's love and the fact that she was in his arms was somewhat interfering with his usual objectivity. He simply tightened his arms around her waist, looked into her eyes, which were full of love for him and uncaring of the consequences he said, "Go ahead, ask"

She smiled at him, her eyes now sparkling with a hint of familiar mischief and a bit of unusual demureness, and softly said, "Do you remember, you had borrowed a kiss from me, thousands of days ago?" He nodded, a little unsure now as to where this conversation was leading to.

"I want it back, with the applicable interest on it, at an interest rate of hmmm...one percent per day and which is compounded on a daily basis." As his face lit up with pure delight at what she wanted, she blushed scarlet, threw her arms around his neck and continued in as firm a tone as she could manage, "And, you will pay me back in full, even if it takes you the rest of our lives to do so."

Lovers do not finally meet somewhere. They are in each other all along.

~ Rumi~

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