random love life of jay

Fourth Of July part 1

Hi, I'm Jay. Welcome to my mind. You are brave for being here. I think I'm gay but I'm not really sure. Ima say I'm bisexual. Anyway my sexuality isn't important now. What matters is my social anxiety. I'm socially awkward and anxious. Let's just say I usually socialize through games. Online games with chat. So no one can see who I really am and it's harder for people to bully me. Anyway, my anxiety is raging is because my sister ( she's popular, pretty and 17) is throwing a party and it's going on now. Not only is horrible music blasting, such as "party in the use " by Miley and other USA meme well known music, its loud. Loud laughter, loud gossip, loud sex. Yes loud sex. A girl with no shirt and her boyfriend stumbles into my room and my scream scared them out. I'm glad I stayed home, or else someone else's jizz woulda been on my sheets. Anyway, I think their fckin in the spare room, hopefully. Anyway, my sister invited a ton of people. The scarier thing is I probably know a lot because I'm in the grade below her but we go to the same school. Also, fireworks are going off and I'm here with my dog, Molly. She's a black lab. I love her. She is the only mammal that loves me too. Anyway, my earbuds are charging and I cannot drown out her music with my own. At least "American idiot" by Green Day played. I love Green Day. I'm scared that some thot is gonna waltz into my room and try to have sex with me. My dog is equally scarred. We both don't like fireworks. I prefer the snappers.
I'm currently playing a childhood game, Moviestatplanet. This game makes me feel gay.
As of now, thirty minutes since my sisters party started, no one but the sex people have interrupted me. My door opened and my cat Nicki ran in. She hoped onto my bed and started meowing. I patted her.
"It's okay, nicks. It's just a party and a few explosives."
My pets (cats and dog) get along very well actually. Especially Molly and Nicki. I once saw them napping on eachother.
All my thoughts dropped as I clutched my stomach in pain. I cried out. I either ate too many tacos or that big box of strawberries was too much for me. Or both, but either way, my stomach and digestive system has been a bitch. My stomach felt as if I had been stabbed from the inside. It hurts a lot. This night can not get worse.
If I was not stuck at my home I would have been out with my friends Em and Bella. They are sisters, twins actually. They are not identical though, I'm glad because I like being able to tell them apart. My relationship with the sisters one on one is different. Bella is more of a goofy buddy and my partner in crime. Em is my advice person and we look out for eachother. I'm like Bella's gay best friend and Em's older brother. The sisters are older than me by a few months, but I act like an older brother to both of them. We were going to bike to the park we always hang out at, have a snack together and play with the snappers and listen to music. Why am I not with them? Both their parents need sleep more than anything and can't be woken to drive them. And it'd be dark with the time to bike to eachother's houses. Why can't I go over to their house? Parents arent home and sister refuses to leave her party. There's no way I'm driving on the Fourth of July and no way I'm asking for someone to drive me.
Earlier I was sitting on the porch but too many people kept going in and out and the party was a bit outside. And the mosquitos are viscous.
I was describing my social situation to friends on the game. Nothing much. This one friend of mine was trying to get me to talk to her friend, like wanted me to date her, but they both had logged off.
I just feel so... empty. Not depressed, for once. Just empty. I feel alone. But I refuse to feel suicidal.
My thoughts dropped again as a teenage girl burst into my room. I dropped my laptop and curled myself up on my bed. Fear overtook me. Oh no. No no nooo. She's gonna rape me. Uhm.. my knife is in my dresser drawer. But she is like a predator. She will see my every movement. I inched my hand to my dresser. I had my hand on the knob. She laughed and started to walk towards me. Her walk was off and I noticed a drink in her hand. She's drunk. Why does my sister have alcohol at a party? She's only 17! Someone must have brought it.
"Don't come near me!" I threatened
I slowly opened the drawer and whipped my knife out.
She stared at the blade. Eyes wide. "Oh you're so cute!" She giggled
My hands started shaking and I screamed.