"I'm here okay. We will figure this out together, I won't let you slip away from me. I know this is all a lot but I will help you carry whatever comes," I finish kissing his bruised and bandaged hand. If only bandaids could fix a broken mind.
"I don't want the darkness to hurt you..." his green eyes close momentarily, shielding anymore emotion that could drip from them.
"I'm strong enough for the both of us, you don't need to worry about me," I tell him wanting so badly to hold him in my arms. His bed was too high up for me to even kiss him, our bandages and bruised bones made closeness impossible.
"I don't want it to have you, you are mine and only mine," my heart sinks when I hear this and I can't help but look down at my little belly that was barely beginning to protrude.
What Harry was referring to was H. He didn't know what this person or feeling was but he knew he didn't want it to have me but it was too late. I had the proof inside of me, growing bigger and bigger everyday.
"I love you so much Chanel, I wish I could show you how much you mean to me. I'm sorry about everything-" I cut him off and shake my head.
"You don't need to be sorry. I get why you didn't want to tell me about this but I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid of your darkness Harry. I wasn't ever going to leave and I won't ever leave. I'm here," I whisper running my hand over his in a circular motion while I watched his tired emerald eyes. He was a solider and pleading for release of this uphill battle with his dangerous mind.
I hear a faint crying as my eyes blink open. I'm back in my bedroom where the moonlight washes the walls in the pale blues. I sit up and swing my legs over the bed looking over to see Harry's chest moving up and down in his quiet sleep.
Again I hear it.
The crying.
I pace over to the door and twist the knob to reveal a large and spacious hallway, a hallway I didn't recognize. My legs seem to take control and pull me towards the cold and dark hallway. The crying becomes more clear the further I travel down the emptiness that echoed deep into the corner of my mind.
I come to the first door and wrap my hand around it, twisting the knob and pushing it open. My heart races when I reluctantly push open the door to see a woman standing looking out a window. Soft snow flakes fall while she turns to the side to reveal her pregnant stomach. Her hair is long and bathed in the pale moonlight streaming through the frosty windows. It was me.
Something was off and my nerves sent multiple signals to convey there was something really wrong.
I watch myself come towards me, her silk white slip dress flows off her as she keeps one hand over the top of her bulging stomach. She saunters right through me, as if I'm not even there. Walking out the door into the cold hallway that seems to be never-ending.
I watch her walk into a room a little ways down the hall and again I hear the screams and cries erupt and echo through the empty hall. I follow where the pregnant me had gone and twist the knob peering down when I feel liquid against my bare feet.
Dark crimson red blood gushes from under the door while crying is blaring in my ears. My breathing picks up and I feel the full force of anxiety pick at my nerves and settle into my bones.
The door creaks open while I stay fixated on my feet being painted with blood that gushes and flows from the room. I shakily walk into the room knowing that this was a mistake.
I see myself bent over a crib with a crying baby inside. I can't see inside the crib but the cries were from an infant no doubt. I see where all the blood has come from when I look at the once white slip dress is now stained with blood. Blood covered her entire body it felt like.
She lifts a tiny bloodied body from the crib and holds it in her arms for a few seconds. I come closer to see the little baby in her arms, confused to see her weep after gazing down at the baby.
"I'm sorry..." she whispers, tears running down her face profusely as if she is overcome by intense grief. "I wish the darkness hadn't gotten to you," with one swift motion the crying baby falls silent with a crack of the neck.
"Nooooo!" I scream out beginning to cry as I watch myself kill my baby that lies dead in her arms. "Noooooo!" A hand slaps against my mouth and a shake falling to the ground where all the blood pools.
I feel a breeze brush past me another presence storms on angrily.
"What did you do?!" He screams, he snatches the baby away from me as I watch and cower to the corner I fear. It's H, I can tell by his demeanor.
"You gave her the darkness, it was too late," I sobbed as I watch H place the baby back into the crib and take me by the neck. I watch myself choke and she claws at H's hands.
""You killed her! You killed my baby!" H roars in an outrage of intense anger I watch him strangle me to death. My fingernails dig into his hands but my attempt to escape was feeble against his strength.
"Do what you gotta do," I choke as H tightens his hands around my neck like a choker necklace that was overly tight. I watched my body fall limp and hear the thud of my body hit the floor once he drained the life from me.
He goes back to the brand new baby that had only been alive seconds before its life was taken. I shake in the pools of blood surrounding me, burying my face into my hands. Uncovering my face I see blood staining my hands, I'm dressed in a slip dress before I look down and notice my dead body limp by my feet, I scream until my lungs blow out.
My eyes shoot open while I frantically look down to see I am still dressed in my medical gown. My bandages still tightly compressing my ribs while my arm resides in a cast and sling. I see my little bump that will be ever growing and rub my hand over it instinctively. My heart races as I look at the ceiling rubbing my stomach where my baby resides, safely hidden from the world.
I never had a nightmare so real before. It was so vivid it scared me to think that I watched myself kill my baby. Was this the work of a guilty conscience? Was it the brain trauma from the accident? I wasn't sure. I wasn't sure about anything anymore.
N. Surprise beech he's back, but don't get too excited😈😂
22| H E A V Y
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