Crying overwhat I cannot control

I sit alone in my chamber's thinking about you. I've let you go, but my heart still yerns for you and you love's you deeply. You are my true other half. 

I'm sorry that I cannot fully let you go. Every time I see you face I want to cry. When, I see the pictures of you and him. I sink in dispare and deep depression. It hurts me to see you with him.

 True, we are best friends and care deeply about one another. But, it's not the same. I know that the distance between us is not really far. I still want you for me. Maybe, I'm turning green because he has you and I don't anymore.

I must be a pathetic excuse for a man. Not to mention that I feel as a failure because I still love and want you.

I probably won't be able to have you again in the way I want to. Sometimes I want just want to cry and scream not her to him. But, I'm trying to be the bigger person and let go of my heart.

As I am writing this I feel my heart sink lower as it breaks. I'm sorry that I fell hard for you. I thought I had you. Now, that you are going to be his wife. I have a mix of wishes.

I'm sorry, but I have to stop writing this. It's just too hard for me to carry on.