The Bastard of Disaster (TMLK#1)

6. Don't Tease Me

They were all silent.

Oh my God! What have I gotten myself into? I don't even know how to sweep floors! And I've never touched anything in the kitchen! I don't have any first clue when it comes to cooking. I don't know want to be a domestic helper! In the camp pa of the guy that I'm hooking up with!

I heard Dylan cleared his throat. "I'm sure tatanggapin 'yan ni Mimi, Nanay Lyds. Wala na siyang choice. At isa pa, safe siya dito."

Really, Dylan? I'm safe here? Safe from the bad people outside, sure. But my virginity is not safe around him!

Someone sighed. "Sige. Pumapayag na ako," the General Manager said.

So that's how I finally got accepted to live here. I need to be a yaya to them and to be Nanay Lyds' assistant to earn my right to eat and sleep here. 

"Mimi, pakilatag na yung mga plato at kubyertos sa hapag-kainan. Malapit na dumating ang mga iyon," Nanay Lyds said from the kitchen. 

"Yes, Madam!" I shouted back from the dining area. I followed her instructions right away, I don't wanna get caught by the Coach and GM Gardo na walang ginagawa.

From those two weeks living here, nalaman ko rin yung reason kaya kokonti lang ang staff na pwedeng lumapit sa kanila. There was one time kasi na may babaeng staff na kumuha ng photos ng guys from the locker room and she was caught red-handed before she could even extort from the previous guys on the team. Meron ding lalaking staff na nahuling naghahalo ng drugs sa food nila dati, muntik silang ma-disqualify because doping is not allowed in any sport! Buti na lang nahuli siya at kung sino nag utos sa kanyang gawin 'yun. It was from their rival team daw, that whole team got disqualified instead.

Sa loob din ng dalawang linggo, maraming nadagdag sa Filipino vocabulary ko. Like kubyertos is utensils pala! Mangkok is bowl, basahan is yung scrap na cloth na pinang-pupunas na lang. Then,  kobre-kama is bedsheet pala and punda is pillowcase!

So far, so good. Nahirapan ako at first pero nung medyo nasasanay na, okay naman na. But there are three things talaga na hindi ko kaya! Cooking, sweeping the floor and washing their stinky gym clothes and uniforms!

The first time I tried to cook, muntik na magkasunog! Nanay Lyds said don't tell GM Gardo because he will obviously get mad daw! She also said that she will teach me someday how to not burn the food and the kitchen! I am not looking forward to that day.

Whenever I'm sweeping the floor naman, Dylan would do something that will make me abandon the broom and pandakot in the middle of the sweeping! If he's not trying to cop a feel, he'd slap my butt! He does that only when it's the two of us. If someone catches us doing naughty stuff, I'm sure I'm out of here. 

There was one time, though. I was so affected by his discreet touches and naughty kisses that I drag him to his room and we made out there for 30 minutes.

Napagalitan ako nun ni Nanay Lyds dahil naiwan ko yung walis pati yung mga dust na nawalis ko. Somehow she knew I got distracted. Huwag na daw sana maulit na madistract ako while cleaning the house. After ko na lang daw matapos saka ako 'magliwaliw'. I don't even know what 'magliwaliw' means!

And of course, pinaka nahirapan ako sa paglalaba! There were clothes pa na I have to handwash. It wasn't pleasant to wash other people's stinky clothes, I'm telling you. I haven't even washed my own clothes before, tapos here I am, washing theirs. 

Napagalitan na naman ako ni Nanay Lyds nun kasi nalaman niya na I don't know how to wash my underwear! It's not my fault that we have maids that do that! She also said na napaka-iresponsable daw ng mga taong hindi naglalaba ng sarili nilang underwear. Tapos she compared me pa sa Manila Killers, because those guys know how to wash their own undergarments!

"Mimi, tapos ka na ba sa ginagawa mo?" I heard Nanay Lyds yelled.

"Yes po!" I said as I go to the kitchen.

"Dalhin mo yung kanin sa mesa," utos niya.

"Gotcha, Nanay!"

And syempre, dahil I'm super magaling na in the kitchen... napaso ako. Nabitawan ko yung rice cooker. Mabuti na lang at hindi nalaglag sa sahig!

"OUCH!!!" sigaw ko.

Agad-agad namang lumapit sa akin si Nanay Lyds. "Ano ka ba namang, bata ka? May pot-holder naman!" She took my hands and she pulled me towards the sink. She turned the faucet's valve to open then she placed my hands under the running water. "Sa susunod, huwag masyadong paliparin ang isip!" paalala ni Nanay Lyds, rinig ang pagkakonsumi niya sa akin.

"Sige na, maupo ka na sa mesa. Ako na lang muna maghahain," sabi ni Nanay Lyds habang dahan-dahang tinutulak palabas ng kusina.

Yes! Freedom!!!

Minutes later, the whole team arrived from their morning practice. They all looked tired and famished. Their eyes twinkled when they saw the amount of food on the long table. No one even noticed me! They didn't even bother to put their bags in their rooms. As soon they dropped them on the floor, they all dove right in and ate without speaking to each other.

"Mimi, namiss kitaaa!" Si JJ unang pumansin sa akin, tumabi pa siya.

Daniel also showed up and sat beside me. "Hi, Mimi!" 

"Hi, Daniel! Kamusta training niyo?" I asked, smiling at him. Ang cute niya kasi talaga! He's such a baby boy!

"Bakit siya lang tinanong mo?" I turned towards JJ and saw him pouting. Kahit kailan talaga! Magpa-cute daw ba?

"Don't make pa-cute! So not bagay!" Lalo lang siyang nag-pout. Humarap na ako kay Daniel. "What's up? How's the training na?" pangungulit ko kay Daniel.

"Oh, it was the usual," he said, grinning at me. "It was hell."