Restraints

1

Once in a while, I enjoy the silence. Knowing that there are no voices being thrown into my aching ears gives me a sense of relief. When I am trapped in the silence, I have the freedom to allow my mind to wander to the places I can not go. Although, that silence must come to an end, and so must my wandering. 

At the age of 19, I've been through it all. Well, not all, but plenty. My mom never got to live her life the way she wanted, because I interrupted  her young life. She had me when she was 17, her senior year of high school. My father was always in and out of the picture during the pregnancy; At least that's what my grandma tells me. However, after my mom had me, he got a job and "cleaned up his act". That's not what I've observed through my childhood. 

He was always so mean and so drunk. Of course, I didn't know that then. I just believed that Daddy was the monster in the closet. Now that I am older I understand why my mom was always so quiet. 

A knock on the door breaks my haven. "Dylan, your dad is going to work and asked if you could come eat dinner at the table tonight," My mom said quietly peeking her head through the door. I nodded. 

These dinners were just a way of him to make up for being a terrible father. He does them whenever he cheats on my mom or has something dreadful to say to me. I've caught on quick to these games. 

Moving slowly, my mom walked the green beans and mashed potatoes over to the table as my dad did the same with the overcooked chicken. We could all feel the tension between each of our bodies, separated by our breaths. His dark brown, tired eyes, shot his way towards me. 

Tonight I would be his victim. 

I waited for his hard blows.

"So now that you've graduated, what exactly do you expect to do with yourself. You're not intelligent, you never participated in anything to get yourself a scholarship, and on top of that you aren't that great at anything. You're not gonna sit on your lazy ass all day and eat all my food and use all of of my utilities. If you think you are, you have another thing coming to you," He clawed his eyes into me like a dagger. I swallowed hard and looked down at my lap trying to not say something back and get myself in trouble. I looked back up gritting my teeth. "Are you even listening to a Goddamn thing I am saying to you child?" He questioned with fury in his voice. My mom said nothing, like always. I nodded. "Use your words!" He shouted. I mumbled yes under my breath. I looked up scarcely. His large callused hands reached for his beer glass. He launched it at the wall behind me. 

I stood up, tears in my eyes, and rage building in my chest, "I'm leaving." I announced and stormed off to my room. My emotions built up into this whirling hurricane and I just could not take it anymore. I could hear my father behind me shouting and cursing, following my waves. I slammed my door and locked it. Reaching for my suitcase in the closet I could hear my mom outside my door begging him to stop pounding and to leave me alone, but he proceeded. 

"Dylan open the fucking door!" He belted out. I ignored.

Grabbing all of my clothes, and any other item I might need, I zipped the case and threw my navy blue hoodie on. As fast as I could, I grabbed my shoes and my savings. 

Opening the door, I looked my father in the eyes. "I never wanna speak to you again. You are a sorry excuse for a dad and husband." I said crying. I looked to my mom and embraced her as tightly as I could. 

"Get out of here as soon as you can mom," I whispered in her ear, tears running down my cheeks. Before she could say anything I ran outside and made my way past our street corner.

I'm finally free from him...

Most of my night consisted of me sitting at the local gas station reading magazines, and swearing to the clerk that I would buy something. 

"Look girl, if you don't buy something I am gonna need you to leave or stay outside."

I sighed and put the magazine down, "Alright sorry. Could I use your phone by any chance? Mine is dead." He rolled his eyes and said yes. 

I dialed the only two people I could think to call. My two friends from school, Josh and Kacy. We stopped talking before graduation, but I don't know who else would help. First I called Kacy. 

"Hey Kace it's me, Dylan. Look I know we aren't on good terms right now but I left my house I can't stay there anymore," I choked, trying not to cry. "You can't stay here Dylan I'm sorry, " She said without hesitation and hung up. I slammed the phone down in frustration and began to dial Josh. "Hey, Josh. It's Dylan. I know things got all fucked between us but I need somewhere to stay, my dad and I got into it and I just can't be there right now." He coughed a little bit. "Oh uh, are you alright where are you now?" He questioned. It didn't seem like he cared that much, but at least he didn't hang up the phone. 

I gave him my location with hope filling my cracking chest. "I can see what I can do, you might not be able to stay here, but I can figure something out. Just don't leave there until your ride gets there. Be safe. Good night Dylan," and with that, he hung up.

An hour went by, and so did my faith in Josh. 

A black pick up truck pulled into the parking lot and parked right in front of me. The person in the driver's seat was not Josh.