Dirty Laundry

Just the intro

Carin's Resentment
The pain that doesn't linger for days , but years . The fear of letting Go sets in ,the thought of settling becomes constant.
The cOnsistency of being incOnsistent is ever present.knowing you're nothing to someone that was your everything. pain, anger, saDness the never ending emotions. don't Be to loud You'll be labEled the bitter black woman. The woman that can't let go, the one who's friends don't understand. This is my pain to bare no pain medication can be prescribed to slow down the symptoms.

How do you mend a broken heart that was never yours to fix? Old wounds reopened the scar is a reminder that time doesn't heal everything. Finding peace at the end of a bottle leaving me in pieces at a bottomless pit.
Clawing my way out, the darkness engulfs me. Taking control of my thoughts the end is near I feel it .Like a monkey on my back this feeling never goes away . The goal is to get me to surrender yet I keep fighting back. One card left in my deck hit with a draw four and a skip, nothing can be reversed back. I lose this round but I'm stronger than I was before. I'm a survivor, the proof is in the wounds I now wear proudly. I will never downplay my feelings to make someone feel better. Voicing my hurt until my face is blue this is what I have to do to get over you.

This Is no longer a " I hate you " letTer but a you made me better letter. You'll never experience this new me you created. Without you my man would've never Seen the wife within me. The woman whOhas mOre Love to give then their wAs hurT in hEr body.

Too much
You want to much attention, to much consistency , to much reassurance
I show you I got ya but why don't you believe it?

All you want is the bare minimum
Not to much or too little
Who knew what you wanted is the standard for what you should've been given...
Give , give , give unselfishly at that
Who knew the minimum would cause those walls to collapse
You're not to much matter of fact your just enough
They'll either man up or you fix your crown and never adjust
Trust you're never to much
The right man will never be able to get enough of the woman that's to much

Giving up
While giving up seems like the hardest thing to do, depending on who you ask it's the easiest thing.keep striving don't just let your Dream die. Keep working I see the effort through your tears , don't listen to the hate let go of your fears. No one will understand your vision because they never understood your pain. You'll hear a lot of "
Yea I hear you girl" " it couldn't be me " . The good thing about that message is it's for you not them. This is for the ones struggling to keep holding on with no clear path in mind. For the one that's losing peace of mind. From your mind to mine don't stop , you're almost there. I'll be damned if I let you give up now.