Confessions of the Almost Princess

1. There's always two sides to a story.

I woke up a bit later than planned today. I blamed it on Michael and I's break up; the thoughts of him and me in my head had been all consuming. It had been a month, but it felt like a day and a year at the same time.

My phone chimed, drawing my attention away from my thoughts.

Olivia: Bitchhhhhh! Did you see what the palace just put out about you and Michael!?

I took a deep breath after reading the text from my best friend. I had yet to read the statement, but I knew it was going to be full of half truths. If my relationship with Michael had taught me anything, it was just that: the palace never was completely transparent with the people. They always painted the royal family in a positive light, even when they were in the wrong.  I opened Google on my phone.

Elizabeth Clarke and Prince Michael

Of course a ton of results came up, including pictures from our relationship-- you know, back during happier times. However, I knew I did not need to feed myself any more pictures from happy times, so I quickly clicked on the link from the palace that had the statement in it.

His Royal Highness Prince of Oxford and Ms. Elizabeth Rose Clarke of East Sussex have decided to end their engagement to be married. The two wish each other nothing but the best and want everyone to know the decision was mutual.

Ha. The decision was mutual. Sure. I could not roll my eyes hard enough.

I texted Olivia back.

Me: What the actual... I am livid!!!!!!! How much uglier can this get???? The palace is yet again speaking for "us" and I just... !

Olivia: I know right!! There are two sides to every story...

Liv was right. There were two sides to every story. The palace had shared theirs, so it was only fair to the people for me to share mine. I needed to be careful in how I did it, though. I wanted to in control of my own narrative still.

After brainstorming for a few minutes, I threw my brown curly hair up in a bun, plopped down at my desk, and opened my laptop. I would create a blog to share my side.

Dear World,

I am sure by now you have read the press release saying that Prince Michael and I have ended our relationship. The palace has shared their side of the story, but I would hope by now that we all know that there are two sides to every story. So, I created this blog: Confessions of the Almost Princess to share my side: the good, the bad, the ugly, and everything in between.

The truth of the matter is that Prince Michael and I did not have an amicable break up. It was very messy, and I can share the details with you later if that is something you would like to know. He and I shared a very intense and passionate love. Despite what we tricked ourselves into believing over the past three years, we were nothing but a ticking time-bomb, especially once the press figured us out.

Yes. You read that right; Prince Michael and I were secretly going out with each other for about a year before the press picked up on it in the slightest. But once we were found out, it was only a matter of time before we fell apart. 

See, his world was and still is very different from mine. Every little thing about our relationship was scrutinized. I never knew that someone's posture whilst they were walking the street could tell you so much about them. All of my insecurities were no longer between just him and me; I now found and continue to find them plastered everywhere. Relationships are hard enough by themselves, but when you factor in everyone cheering for your relationship to end, it does nothing but make the relationship infinitely harder.

I was foolish to believe him when he said that we could make it work, that he and I would be together forever, that he loved me.

I may never know what I did to make England or the royal family hate me, but I do know that I gave my relationship with Prince Michael my best; we both cannot say that, despite popular belief.

xx

(Almost) Princess Lizzie

A tear rolled down my cheek. Even though our relationship had ended so badly, I would never forget Michael: his ocean blue eyes, his muscular arms that held me close as sobs rocked my body, his perfect lips pressed against mine, his hands tangled in my hair. What we had was so special, yet, so fragile. I thought that he and I were invincible, that we could get through anything. 

I read back over the blogpost. I did not know if writing it had been more cathartic or catastrophic for my thoughts. Whatever it was, though, I knew I needed to make a decision either way.  Did I really want to release this out into the world? Now that Michael and I were over, could I not have some sort of private life back? Chances of that were slim; I was almost a royal-- one of them. I would be analyzed and scrutinized for life.

My hand hovered above the mouse for a good bit before finally clicking post. After all, there are alway two sides to a story. I just hoped that I would not regret sharing mine.