To Begin To Breathe Again

This Envy Eats Me Up From the Inside

It's not fair.
It's not fair.
He was here first.

———

It's not fair.

It's not fair.

It's not f a i r.

He's known Hunk for years - this boy has only known him for a number of days. Sometimes it seems like longer but... Hunk would have told him. Hunk tells him everything. But apparently not about him. Pidge Gunderson. He's short and slim and quiet and clever. His big doe eyes and delicate cheekbones are almost feminine in nature. He looks at Hunk with such love and adoration and Hunk returns the looks in kind.

Lance hates him.

He... he just waltzed into their lives and is acting like he deserves a place there. And Hunk gave him one. He gave him a place in his apartment. He ignored Lance completely to make sure he was okay. It wasn't fair.

Lance has always been there for Hunk. He was kind to him when he moved next door, he hung out with him at school. He was there through school and heartbreaks and started working in his store with him. Only to be cast aside when something- someone better comes along.

Pidge.

Lance hates him.

He hates his unevenly cut hair, his huge eyes, his stupid wire-rimmed glasses, his stupid, snarky comments, his cleverness. Everything. He hates the way Hunk's time is filled up with him, how Hunk stresses over flowers and pies and tech that he wants Pidge to like so desperately. How once or twice Pidge had come to him about things for Hunk, voice quiet and wringing his hands. Lance had been so tempted to lie. To tell him lies so Hunk will get annoyed or angry and leave him. But... Lance can't. Pidge may be annoying and in the way but he had looked so hopeful and happy and trusting. And... he makes Hunk happy. So he told him the truth. The happiness in his face and voice almost broke his heart.

Hunk deserves the best. And the best is obviously Pidge.

Not Lance.

And it breaks his heart.