Home Sweet Home

$20,000

Mr. Whitesnake looked surprised.

"You did?"

I nodded.

"I want it."

I tried not to sound too enthusiastic, but I could barely contain myself.

Mr. Whitesnake took a document from inside his shirt.

"Sign here."

He offered me a pen.

"Ahhh. Don't we have to set a price?"

"Of course," Mr. Whitesnake laughed.

"How much will you give me?"

I knew they wanted to sell quickly, but I was not about to be taken advantage of.

I decided to play it cool.

"Well, it does need some work and a new paint job and I will have to get a cleaning crew in to clean up ..."

"Good luck with that," Mr. Whitesnake muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing," Mr. Whitesnake said, jokingly.

He put his arm around my shoulder again.

The feathers on his headdress were tickling my cheeks.

"So, make me an offer, Ken."

"Krall."

Mr. Whitesnake shrugged his shoulders and got to his knees.

"What are you doing?" I wondered, aloud.

"You told me to Krall."

I shook my head.

"No. My name is Krall."

Mr. Whitesnake slowly got up.

"Really?"

I nodded.

"Anyway. I figure with deducting what I will need to spend on renovations and painting ..."

"And an exorcism," the priest added.

I just stared at him for a moment.

He splashed me again with the holy water.

Fuck that stung.

I wiped my eyes and looked back at Mr. Whitesnake.

"$20,000."

He quickly scribbled the amount on the contract he had.

"You have a personal cheque on you, I assume?"

I nodded.

"Won't you need a bank draft or something?"

"Not at all."

He moved close to me.

"You do have money, right?"

I nodded.

"Good. Then sign right here Kirk."

I was about to correct him again, but I didn't want to see him crawl again, so I let it pass.

I signed the document, wrote him out a cheque and we shook hands.

Mr. Whitesnake then let out the loudest yell, or war whoop, I have ever heard and jumped back in his car, tossing me my copy of the deed and the keys to the house.

Matter of fact, everyone jumped into their cars and in less than a minute, I was standing alone, just outside the iron gates of my new house.

Very much alone.

With no car.

And 12 miles from town.

I looked at my watch. It was too late to walk back now.

"Well, may as well make myself at home."

In the distance I heard the mad crows again.

I smiled.

I was home.

But my fucking eyes still stung like shit.