I have a friend named T.j...that's her nickname I won't reveal her real name. She has had...What's the right word to use...Thoughts since 7th grade. She would always talk to me about it. And in the end she would always say "I'm getting better because of you and your helping me a lot so thanks..." And I would learn more about her and always be excited to hear what she had to say! No matter what it's about. But after summer came, we only talked on the computers. And I got my phone back yesterday and now I see she has alote on her mind... And i'm talking to her right now... and it's not going so well.... I.... Every day she would say i'm getting better, And your helping me... But these past two nights..... She Asked me yesterday where was I when her friend J hung up the phone on her when she was trying to speak with him. And I broke down in tears. She said she doesn't want my help because She wants to do it alone. So she wasn't getting better. And today I notice her... I don't wanna say personality but the way she acts changes at random... I asked her if she has split personality disorder. Her reply "No? I'm not a psychopath?" She told me that that's what we see her as. Is it my fault? Because obviously I know nothing about her! I've helped her but now it seems like I make everything worse! She used to tell me that when she's down I know all the right things to say to make her feel better. Now... Well now were fighting. I don't know what to do. I can't talk to her because I get worried when we fight hoping she will get out of her HEAD and listen! But that makes it worse to.... And I thought I helped her. The four clostets relation ships I had with anybody is R, T.j, my aunt, And mom. Yet When i'm down I can never find a way to get to them or find a way to tell them. The only one I could talk to was my poppop. And he's.... He's gone....
My mom... I feel like i'll disappoint her...And last time I opened up to her she kept on yelling at my dad so now the weights on him... I made it worse
R, Well she's probly dealing with stuff I don't need to put more weight on her shoulders...
My aunt...She's to fucking drunk to listen...she wouldn't understand ethier...
And T.j, Well she's....i don't even know if it's the right choice to be friends with her anymore...
Well this was just something for me to reach out....If anyone reads... And they say it's good to talk.. so.... I'm talking
