Seasonal Depression

The fall of the first petal.

It always starts with the feeling to be away from the people. I might suggest it may be different for different people but for me it was always this way, I would curl up into a ball at my favourite corner made by the wall and by my bed and I start sulking and imagining what life really is whether it is always meant to be this way? Why is it just me I start to think about others and their perfect lives and then there comes hot steaming tears letting out everything in my system.

These feelings started with a lot of emotions anger, sadness, loneliness, it's always very confusing it's very much like battling the feelings to be lonely and to be alone A break up with your loved one or your best friend can plunge you to deeper depths than you might have imagined. It happens when you don't get a result to your academics that you were hoping for it's even more when you realize that you have let down the expectations of others like you

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Today I feel like killing myself I have failed every single person that had some faith in me. Above all the pressure to take up something in life, learn that and to lead a life that I will regret till death. I hate my life always, everyday ,every minute. Hot tears fill my eyes dropping on to the screen of this phone but I have no-one to talk to because I don't trust anyone.

I'm looking up at the ceiling fan not knowing whether it holds my death .

I hate my life I hate everyone in it too.

Mentally, emotionally and physically I'm dead.

No friends. No family. No life.

I'm living but I'm dead.

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Please let me know what you feel about this and I might update if this is good enough for reading.

Love, Penton :()