Toxic | Leila & Christian

Chapter 17: Gunpoint

August 21, 2011

Christian's Pov;

I roam the streets and through various stores and shops, in search of something that catches my eye. I came out into town today for a specific reason and that reason was to buy Leila something. I wanted to get her a gift, something to apologize for my behavior towards her when she confessed her pregnancy to me only two days ago. I feel immensely guilty for hurting her, both emotionally and physically. The brace on her wrist reminds me of the pain I inflicted every time I see it, making me wish I could take it all back. I now have one goal, aside from keeping Leila safe, healthy, and happy, and that is to make things right between us. I need to right all my wrongs against her. I'm just not quite sure how yet, but I figured buying her something nice could be a start. I just have to figure out what I could possibly buy her. My first thought was flowers, the go-to apology gift, but I know she wouldn't like that much. I want to get her something actually meaningful, something she'll truly like. I know she loves art, but I've already bought her a near lifetime supply of high-end art supplies. As I'm looking around,my eyes land on a sign for an art sale and it hits me like a tidal wave. I should buy her a painting. She's always said she has an appreciation for original locally made art. Now's my perfect chance to buy her some.

An hour later, I return to the apartment with a painting in hand and a sense of purpose. I can't wait to get this to Leila. She's going to love it, I just know it. I take a quick glance at the painting one last time before I go to her room to give it to her, and I tuck it away in the bag I carried it home in. I lightly knock at her closed bedroom door until I hear her answer. "Come in." She says, allowing me to enter the room. "Hey. I just wanted to apologize again for everything. I feel terrible about my actions lately. I wanted to make it up to you." Leila stares at me, waiting for me to continue. "I bought you a gift." I hand her the bag with the painting in it and she opens it up. A broad grin appears on her face as she sees what's inside and I can't help but to smile back. "Thank you, Christian. It's lovely." She says, then to my surprise she hugs me. She's careful not to touch my chest during our brief embrace. "There's something I wanted to talk to you about." I begin, hesitant. I don't know how she'll react to what I have to say. "Yes?" She whispers, now looking concerned. "I know we agreed that you should stay here through the duration of your pregnancy, but once the baby is born I'd like to have you a house picked out to live in. I can pay for all the expenses and it'll be close by in case you need me." I know she has this fantasy of living here with me and us being together, but I can't continue to lead her on like I have. We just don't want the same things. She has to know that, there's no more avoiding it. "But we won't be living in it together...because you don't want me." She looks up at me, her expression pained. I reach out to comfort her, but she pushes my hand away and jumps up to leave the room. "Leila!" I chase after her down the hallway and into the foyer, but I'm stopped when she reaches into the pocket of her sweater and pulls out a gun. My breath stops in my throat as she aims it straight at me, right at my heart. "Leila." I say her name again, quietly this time, my voice laced with anxiety. She doesn't respond, seeming trapped, wrapped up in her own inner chaos.

My eyes lock on the gun she's holding out, aimed straight at me, as I my mind races with every memory I have of her. Every second that's led up to this. The moment her wide bourbon brown eyes meet mine and I had gasped in awe of their beauty. The way her soft voice had called me sir on our first meeting. Her darkened gaze, sweet smile, warm laugh, and gorgeous face. The way she had me hypnotized from the very first evening we spent together. The first time she came to my apartment. The way she had been soaking wet from the rain, but still looked stunning as ever. Our dinner together in my home, when she received her first punishment. The way she had smiled at the pain, rather than shying away from it. The first time I took her to my playroom and all the times that came after. How she knelt before me, surrendered herself to me, entirely at my mercy. How her skin warmed beneath my touch, the way she moaned my name, the heavenly feeling I experienced inside her. When we she would cook breakfast in the morning, music blaring, and cheerful as ever. Her constant mischief, how it used to both entertain and infuriate me. The way she would paint masterpieces before my very eyes. When she would bake and the smell would fill the halls, reminding me of happy times. She had me wrapped around her finger, anyone could see it. Spending my birthday with her was a novelty. I had never done such a thing with my other submissives. Taking her to the masquerade ball as my date. The night she met my colleagues, friends, and family. She gave me more, more than I asked for, more than I ever thought I could deserve, and I wrecked her in return. I didn't reciprocate her love, but I should have. I wish I could have. I loved when she stole my iPad and filled it with her favorite music, songs I've come to love because they remind me of her. There were bad times too, events that spiraled out of control in ways I never could've dreamed. Her unplanned pregnancy, the fight that followed, my termination of Elena and I's friendship, Leila calling my mother to try to force me into acting the way she wanted. The way she used to manipulate me with sex and threats. The way I craved her darkness because it mirrored mine. Everything has changed because of her. I've changed because of her. None of that matters now, as I stare into the barrel of her gun.