mystery of love; malec au

chapter thirteen

 "I want to be with you, Alec. I'm so sorry about the way I was acting before," Magnus pleaded, Alec refusing to look at him. Alec said, "Many people are afraid of coming out, and I know that it can make people do strange things. But there is no excuse for writing that slur on the lockers or hitting me, Magnus."

Magnus stayed silent, Alec continuing. "When you hit me, you looked exactly like Noah. You're just like them, although they can admit it to themselves." Alec knew that him comparing Noah to Magnus would be what affected him the most, seeing his desired effect work when Magnus looked upset.

 "How many times do I have to say that I'm sorry? Tell me what to do, Alec. I want to fix this." Magnus said, his voice holding desperation. Alec felt his attitude soften, hearing the willingness in Magnus' voice. He believed that Magnus would do a lot to fix this, or he would say that he would, but Alec didn't think he would follow through.

Alec turned to face him again, "I want you to be comfortable in your own skin before you think about me, especially with people from school. You need to focus on yourself before we can be together again, it's obvious that you're going through something." Magnus listened to Alec's words, yet he disagreed.

 "I know that I'm bisexual, and everyone else knows now. I'm comfortable." Magnus said, adding  a meek smile to look more convincing. Alec asked, "Have you even talked to your friends about the picture? Told them that you still like girls? Have you said anything?" His tone was direct and slightly harsh.

Magnus sighed, averting his eyes. Alec took this silence as his answer, moving towards the door. Magnus said, "Alec, wait, please. I'm going to, I'll do it right now!" Alec continued walking towards the door, Magnus panicking, saying the first thing that came to mind. It came out as a quiet declaration, "I love you."

Alec halted in his step, feeling shock paralyse his body. He then scoffed, "No, you don't, Magnus."  Alec left the doorway, rushing out of the house before Magnus could stop him. Magnus was shocked at what he had said; he didn't really know what to do. He had just told Alec that he loved him.

Was it even possible to love someone after only properly knowing them for a few weeks? Magnus didn't really know if what he said was true; he had never truly loved anyone before, apart from his mother, but that was a different kind of love. Alec had reacted badly to it, so he didn't think that he would be declaring it again any time soon.

Magnus had his final two football games this week; one tomorrow night and then the other the day after that. Then it was prom, and then he graduated, hopefully. His public displays of violence weren't helping him. He knew that he would have to talk to Noah, and face the music.

He walked into the locker room, seeing that most people were changing, all turning to look at Magnus when he walked in. Noah noticed, saying, "Everyone, put some damn clothes on. You're clearly making Magnus nervous." His tone was sarcastic, an evil smirk growing on his features.

Magnus rolled his eyes, paying no attention, moving to his locker, getting his gear out. Magnus finally felt the effect of Noah's taunts that Alec had withstood all of these years, knowing that it didn't feel the best. "I can still pick up more girls than you," Magnus snapped back with a sarcastic smile, pulling his shirt off quickly, putting on the jersey.

 "Oh, so you're into girls and guys? Good luck getting into another girl's pants after that photo; they all think you're gay. I'm guessing that you aren't looking for anyone anyway, as you're so infatuated with Alec Lightwood." Noah said, Magnus trying his best to ignore him. He knew that what Noah was saying was somewhat true, but he wasn't interested in anyone but Alec.

Magnus ignored his words, finishing changing into his gear before the game began. Magnus knew that Alec wasn't a big fan of sports, but he still had some hope that he might show up. His eyes scanned the crowd, seeing all of his friends, but no Alec. Magnus sighed, feeling disappointed for getting his hopes up.

It was hard to concentrate on playing the game when all he could think about was Alec and how he could fix things between them; their relationship felt so worn out and broken. It wouldn't be easy, but Magnus finally felt ready to fight for their relationship, publicly. He thought about what he might do, knowing that he had to come out to the school properly, for himself.

Magnus smiled as he saw his mother sitting in the stands, a large grin on her face as she waved at him. The game wasn't necessarily bad; Magnus played well, but the victory didn't help his mental state at all. The other guys on the team treated him harsher, but that just made Magnus fight harder and bring them more success.

Alec sat in his room, alone, as his siblings had gone to the football game. His arms were wrapped around his legs that pressed against his chest, resting his chin on his knees. He couldn't stop thinking about what happened between him and Magnus the day before, wondering if his words were too harsh.

Magnus had fucked up badly concerning Alec, but Alec felt the urge to forgive him just as badly. He was all that Alec thought about, for good and bad reasons. Alec stopped himself before he tried to text Magnus again, throwing the phone on his bed. He wanted someone to tell him what to do. Should he forgive Magnus, or stop seeing him for good?