part of me | e.d

twenty-five

"i was so scared i was going to lose you," he mumbles into my hair, sniffling.

"i'm sorry. i should've believed you from the start." i speak into his shoulder, my cheek squished against him.

i feel so dumb for not trusting him. my entire life, he's the one person i've always trusted and that hasn't changed. i guess i'm just finding it hard to let him back into my life again after everything that's happened. especially since he's gone running to kara before.

his hand caresses my back as he pulls me into his chest tighter. "i love you, rylin. i love you so much." he kisses me near my ear.

"i love you too, ethan."

after a few moments, i pull away. he gives me a small smile, and i reach my hands up to wipe away the tears from under his eyes with my thumbs.

ethan never cries. but the fact that he did confirmed to me he was telling me the truth. 

i continue admiring his facial features until i hear a knock on the door.

ethan gives me a confused look, then unwraps his arms from around me so i could get up.

i walk to the door and open it, revealing kara. just looking at her face, i feel all the anger in me rush to the surface, and without thinking, i slap her.

kara holds her cheek, shocked. then she turns back to glare at me. "you bitch."

she grabs my shoulders trying to push me to the ground, but ethan shows up between us taking kara's hands off me.

"kara, get the hell out!" ethan shouts at her. 

"is that really how you want to talk to the mother of your baby, ethan?" kara places a hand on her hip, narrowing her eyes at ethan.

we both freeze, our mouths agape. 

did she just say what i thought she said?

ethan's voice comes out shaky when he says, "what are you talking about?"

kara smirks. "i'm pregnant! or, we're pregnant. we're having a baby!" 

she reaches for his hands, a huge smile on her face. ethan shakes his head, moving his hands out of her reach, his mouth still agape.

i see amy show up behind kara, a hand covering her mouth. ethan turns around, beginning to pace around our room. he looks really pale.

"eth, just sit down." i walk over to him, guiding him to sit back down on the bed.

kara walks in, moving me out of the way. "aren't you so happy, hun?" she grabs his hands, placing them on her stomach.

ethan is still too shocked to even process what's going on. he's speechless.

amy comes in, grabbing kara's upper arm. "kara, get out." amy grits her teeth, pulling her out the door. kara tries to fight it, but amy's stronger.

i sit next to ethan, feeling my chest tighten as i realize something. "when did you two have sex?"

ethan finally snaps out of it, turning to face me with wide eyes. "before we were even together."

"okay, but when?"

he sighs. "the night i came to see you when your dad was in the accident."

i remember that night so vividly. the way ethan had shown up for me. held me. consoled me. that night meant everything to me. knowing he had just come from having sex with kara completely changed the way i felt about it now. it felt tainted.