Kissing Scars // a.i. DISCONTINUED

Chapter Ten

Addie's POV

After spending two weeks with Ashton, we ended up becoming pretty good friends. We were both moved out of the intensive care unit and into a less monitored and more therapeutic unit. Also, turns out our small group therapies are together. They don't make us talk in detail about our experience, but we were obviously both suicidal to be put in these therapy sessions together.

In the sessions they force us to talk about our "feelings". It usually consists of me complaining how stupid the sessions are and how I should be allowed to go home, and then Ashton whispering in my ear that were almost done. Theres something about his voice that just makes me calm down and feel happier. I've never experienced someone who can have this effect on me.

Basically Ashton is the only person I have at the moment, considering mom and dad have been too busy working to visit more than once a week which means that I haven't seen Katy either. I miss my little sister so much, but I have to remember that I only have two weeks until I can see her. I'm halfway done with this crap, thank god.

As of right now, Ashton and I are playing bullshit with a pack of cards his siblings brought him the other day. Let me just say, Ashton is a horrible liar. He starts blushing and has to look away when he lies about his cards, it's kind of hilarious. The best part is teasing him about this, which makes him blush and get even more embarrassed.

"3 5's," Ashton says as he sets down three cards, but I can see right through him. "Bullshit," I call and he immediately looks away in shame, proving me right.

"Okay I'm done! I'm done!" Ashton says as he throws his cards in the air.

"I'm not picking that up honey," I shout after him as he walks out. He freezes at the door and turns around, looking me in the eyes. "Oh really? Then who else is going to pick them up? I mean I'd sure love to see you bend down and pick them up.I mean I'd be fine with that." He says with a wink and then starts walking towards me.

His perverted comments are something I've gotten used to, I'm guessing its a teenage boy thing. It's okay, though, because it's Ashton. I don't know what it is about him, but he makes me feel all happy inside. He does what my favorite bands do, honestly. I wrap myself into bands like Panic! At The Disco, Fall Out Boy, Pierce the Viel, Bring Me The Horizon, and so much more because they make me happy. Their music is great and I'd honestly not be alive if I didn't have them.

Once Ashton gets near me, he jumps on top of me, with a playful grin on his face. I know what's about to come and I do not want it to happen on bit. After talking for about two days, Ashton decided to poke me in the stomach for who knows what reason, it was quite weird now that I think about it. But anywho, I'm insanely ticklish and this event helped Ashton discover that.

Every freaking day since that happened Ashton has tickled me almost to death atleast once, and it's horrible. That's what was about to happen, and I'm about to pee my pants. This will not be fun.

In the next instant Ashton's hands lunge towards my stomach and start tickling me, I can't tell if its his touch or the tickling that gives me butterflies in my stomach, but it doesn't matter right now. As my childish screams fill the silent hospital, I realize that this is war he has started. After him tickling me for what feels like forever, I gather up some strength and flip us over. I'm now straddling him but that thought doesn't even cross my mind as I start to tickle him back. He may not be as ticklish and me but he is still ticklish.

After a while I start to get tired and stop, just staring him in the eyes with our deep breathes filling the new found silence. Slowly we start to inch closer and closer until we are a little too close for friends.

"You know you're the most beautiful girl I have ever seen, right Adelaide?" Ashton tells me, just causing me to blush and laugh a little.

"Ashton Fletcher Irwin, even though you do say that pretty often, I must say that I can't believe you. There are so many other girls out there with less problems and that are so much prettier and nicer than me. I'm just a nobody in a world full of somebody's, I'm sorry," I explain my views back to him. I never get complimented by guys, at school I was the loner and the depressed girl that only wears black clothes and band t-shirts. And with that I back off of Ashton and slide into bed right next to him.

I never had any friends in school, Ashton is the first "friend" I've really had. That's probably why I'm so awkward when it comes to people complimenting me and actually caring about me. Its weird being able to talk to someone around your age. They can relate to you so much and offer so much comfort and love. The closest thing to a friend around my age that I've had is Brandon, and he's gone now.

Brandon's gone.

I start to tear up as I think about him. It's been hard these past two weeks, the mourning process is painful. I can't seem to process the fact that he's gone, dead, not here.

The more I think about it, the more it hurts. Before I know it I'm lying down on Ashton's bed crying and screaming "why why why why," over and over again. This has happened often enough that Ashton knows how to deal with me when I'm like this.

He sets me in his lap and rocks me back and forth like a baby, I may dislike being treated like a child but this really helps. Once I start to calm down, I noticed that Ashton was whispering into my ear again. He had been whispering the usual, "It's going to be okay," and "I know you can make it, I know we can make it together." This time was different though, his voice sounded raw, like he had been crying too. Then I realized that he had been crying.

Something had made him cry, and I wanted to know what. Right now it doesn't matter, but I have a feeling that it will eventually make or break our friendship.

These two weeks I haven't seen Ashton be anything but happy. He seems to always be smiling and laughing and ready to comfort me. I don't know how he does it, but now I know he doesn't.

Ashton is human too, he has bad days and he cries and he hurts just like everyone else. He can't be my hero, no one can save me other than myself. I have to stay strong I just have to.

The problem is I easily break and I do need that rock to help me. I need Ashton to be there to comfort me. I need some sort of protection so I can stay strong, or else this can all end very badly.

As soon as I had met Ashton, something in me clicked. The world wasn't as fuzzy and confusing. Its weird to say, cause I definitely don't love him, I mean I just met him two weeks ago! Even with our little time together though, he has become something important to me. An essential part of my life you could say. I don't know if the feelings flow both ways, but as long as I have Ashton for now I think I may make it.