shooting star

        I see him everywhere now. At school, in the woods, my house, in the big field right by the church. I see him more now that he's dead than he was alive. I never could proclaim my feelings for him I don't know why he always told me he loved me, but for some reason, I couldn't tell him back. I really loved him I wanted to marry him I should have married him and we should have grown old together, but for some reason, I was punished. Probably because I broke a heart. Now I'm being blamed for his death.

        When we were young we used to play in the field by the church whenever church finished. While our parents would talk to everyone thanking them for their prayers and asking them how their life was going and the basic answer we always got was good or in my parent's case blessed, but were any of us actually good or blessed in my case no. No matter what a person said they were feeling they were probably dealing with issues. for instance, my parents were always fighting every night I guess the prayers of the church weren't working or maybe they weren't even praying for us at all.

      All I needed was my two best friends Jake and Shane they were brothers and lived a block away from me so when the fighting started I would always go to theirs and we would play tag and hide and seek. I always hid in the tree house I liked it up there because it felt like I was the clouds and I had the perfect view that looked over all the houses that looked the same, but one day I knew I would go farther beyond this place. Then without remembering I  would stick my head out the window and blow my cover and lose the game. but these fun times always ended too soon. I went back home that night to see police cars outside my house. I thought my parents finally killed each other I ran to my house preparing myself to see the worst. only to enter my house  and see both my parents living and breathing it turns out one of the neighbors had called the cops because they thought someone was being murdered I don't know if I was happy to see my parents alive of course I loved them but I hated to see them fight and I wanted it to end. I always thought my parents loved each other. I didn't know love meant fighting I guess I was too young to understand. The next week at church I picked a prayer request from the back table and wrote "I want my parents to be happy" and two weeks later my prayers were answered but not in the way I wanted it to be. My mother had filed for divorce, in the end, my mom got custody of me and the house and half of everything else.